Pantygate 2007
It has been brought to Miss Mussel’s attention that opera singer Dame Kiri Te Kanawa was declared the victor in her lawsuit on 21st March of this year against a Syndey promotions company. For those not apprised of the ins and outs of the Anitpodeon concert scene, in 2005 Ms Te Kanawa was scheduled to do a series of duo concerts with Australian pop sensation John Farnham. Once she found out that Farnham’s fans routinely threw items of lingeric nature on stage during shows, Ms Te Kanawa graciously/prudishly pulled out of the engagements.
The company promoting the gig promptly sued on the grounds that alleged presence of projectiles of the silk and satin variety did not constitute a valid reason to break a contract. Miss Mussel doesn’t like to indulge in groundless speculation but is willing to entertain the idea that the promoters were more than an little annoyed about losing their share of what would have been substantial takings.
In the interests of journalistic integrity, Miss Mussel has done a bit of investigating regarding this John Farnham character and is happy to report that YouTube did not disappoint.
Now, even after the Celine Dion-shaped log is removed from Miss Mussel’s own eye, it is still painfully obvious that Mr Farnham is possibly the worst singer she has seen masquerading as a pop star since accidentally viewing Eurovision 2004 in the name of cross cultural understanding. At no point during this video did Miss Mussel feel anything remotely close to the urge to rip off her undergarments and hurl them at the screen. In fact, to be honest, from second 17 onwards, it was difficult to refrain from slamming the computer shut and running out to the pub for a restorative beverage. Miss Mussel continues to live in hope that any panty throwing at previous concerts was done ironically, in a sort of “you-suck-but-if-you-were-good-and-hot, we’d-do-this” way.
