#Operaplot Entries – Round 2

Here’s the final list. There are still some orphans to be placed and it is entirely possible that a few entires have been misplaced or missed out somehow. If that has happened to one of yours, just leave a note in the comments and we’ll sort it out. Entries will be judged at the end of the week, so you have until then to make any corrections.

The entries are in something vaguely recognizable as alphabetical order with definite articles (La, Le, Die, Der, The etc) included. La Boheme is under L, not B. Miss Mussel hasn’t had to write a term paper in a while, so her mad bibliography skillz are getting a bit rusty.

Some of you indicated during the contest that you tried to delete entries from Twitter but they were still in the search stream. Since that’s what we used to compile the entries, the deleted ones may be here. If they are and you would like them removed, please put the name of the opera and the summary in the comments.

Finally, if you are a journalist or blogger and would like to use some of this content to write about the contest you are free to do so. Please credit the [tweet’s] author when you quote the tweet.

Thanks and happy reading!

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A Hand of Bridge
@djliss – She wants to buy that hat of pink cock feathers! She wants to buy that hat of pink cock feathers!

A Midsummer Night’s Dream
mlaffs – Monarchs fight, Rude Mechanicals rehearse by night, lovers get lost, confused and duel over height. Magic makes all things right.

Acis and Galatea
@lixydust – Sea-nymph sings, Shepherd too, love does spring, together coo. Polyphemus: rejected, kills Acis; but resurrected, a god now is!
@dumbledad -♀ ♥ shepherd. Shepherd ♥ ♀. Giant ♥ cherry lipped ♀. Giant kills shepherd. ♀ = divinity. God turns dead shepherd into fountain.
@rrollet – Boy meets girl; love @ first sight. She spurns giant flautist. Reed rage leads to tragedy. She turns boy into fountain. Happy we?
@BrianRobinson – In glorious crush,/ Acis and Galatea!/ (The ending? Don’t ask.)
@AliciaCarina – Nymph + shepherd = happy we! But for Giant, jealous love: rage, melt, burn. Alas, shepherd!: kill’d, bemoan’d, tranform’d. Water?
@dumbledad – Stunning ♀ amazing voice has to wear rag-doll wig and perform next to lithe dancer in sheer bodystocking

@djliss – Lovers are sealed in a tomb;/with limited air in the room./Why conserve 02/when you can sing a du/et, making the place a vacuum?
Peter West – Slavegirl loves enemy hero(YAY!)Daddy angry(uh)They try to escape(YAY!)Slavegirl & hero die in a tomb on floating b flats(uh)
@nbrockmann – Egyptians & Ethiopian trapped in tragic love pyramid. 2 heroes of show: tenor, elephant wrangler. (Soprano wrangler also useful.)
@AliciaCarina – Walk like an Egyptian. Who’s that girl? Let’s play master & servant. Every breath you take… Tainted love! I would die 4 U.

Pat – Akhnaten: Counter-tenor becomes judge of Next Egyptian Idol Contest, ends up as mummy.
@dumbledad – Singer with gorgeous tits and loincloth builds new city to new god on sandpit stage. Off comes loincloth and there’s a willy too!

Albert Herring
@conslugarocko – Town virgin drinks lemonade that has been spiked by helpful friends. He then discovers drinking is *awesome*
@dagneyandleo – Loxford girls are whores. Albert is good. Albert is May King. Albert gets drunk. Albert goes whoring. Lady Billows is pissed
@rrollett – The virgin queen takes on a new meaning, and a new hobby, as the cash prize gives Albert a night out. Mum will never be the same.

Amahl And The Night Visitors
@dbrown – Boy gives crutch to Jesus, Jesus takes crutch from boy.
@musicbizkid – A cool desert nite brings/men with boxes of valuable things/mom tries 2 steal/the cripple is healed/& Jerusalem-bound w the kings

Andrea Chenier
@SimonThomas41 – Poet pines while proles triumph, posh lady resists opportunistic lust but hero still gets the chop

Anna Bolena
@ann_feeney – Henry has a wandering eye. Jane can’t give him her hand until Percy loses his heart and Anne no longer has a head.

@Frindley – Cross-dressing sister (it’s more economical) woos one of two rivals for ending quite comical
@primalamusica – 19yo SWF seeks Croat 4 marriage of love/convenience. No ties except 1 v. confused sister. R U my Mr Right? Photo on request.

Ariadne Auf Naxos
@amndw2 – Composer wigs out. Buffa & seria duke it out. Ariadne mopes, Zerbinetta distracts her with coloratura. Bacchus ex machina ending.

@AliciaCarina – King’s daughter fiance’s rival hatches plot: she cheats. Brother defends honor, kills confessing rival. Hello fiance & happy end!
@dumbledad – Genevra loves and dad approves? Too happy for an #operaplot so much ado about nothing brings sadness and death before virtue triumphs again

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Billy Budd
@debaroos – Beautiful Billy is “KING OF THE WORLD!!!” Uh-oh. Leonardo di Caprio said it on the Titanic & then scary shit happened.
@roger_j_miller – Vere recalls. Billy was good, very good. Claggart was bad, very bad. Claggart was killed. Billy hanged. Could he have saved him?
@MouseQueen – Innocent boy joins navy. Speech impediment gets him in rough spot. Noose.

Bluebeard’s Castle
@wordsmusic – Here’s my castle. Are you afraid? No, I’m going to open all those damn doors! Are you afraid? No, let me in! Who’s that? Oh shit.
@conslugarocko – New bride learns the lesson the hard way: “Never date a guy with baggage.” Bluebeard’s Castle
@txavacado – The ultimate bridezilla asks the one question she shouldn’t, resulting in a wedding night that’s strictly for the birds.
@B4AfterWebRadio – New wife in castle – what a hassle! Insists on opening doors – nags about bloody floors. “Wait, I take it back!” Fade to black
@primalamusica – Contestant on macabre Hungarian gameshow ignores all hints from the host and opens one mystery door too many.

Boris Godunov
@s_haskins – Path to the tsar’s throne / strewn with family’s corpses / madness chimes like clock
@ogiovetti – I’d kill to be Tsar. It’s good to be the Tsar. Wait, is D really dead? This is driving me nuts. My son can take over. Dosvedanya
@musicbizkid – When a murder widely unknown/sends a monk 2 ascend Russia’s throne/he stages a coup/brings Marina in 2/&Boris dies scared & alone

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@Mmmusing – Life is happiness, Candide; Cunegonde’s all you need. She’ll get raped & die a bit, but survive & gaily glit. Enough? Grow stuff.

@daezer – Words! Music! Words! Music! (Horse! Mule! Tradition!) Countess sleepy.
@VoxDixit – What’s more important: words or music? Think it over in the moonlight. The answer? Dinner is served, so you’ll never know! #operaplot

@ann_feeney – Cardillac: Jewelry special. Big sale. Police: Murder rate keeps rising. Officer: Not a coincidence. C: I did it! Crowd: Grrrrr
@otterhouse – You make great art, but act retard and kill the principal; give your soul, beauty is the goal… Help! it’s Cardilac’s downfall !

@pattyoboe – Smoking hot might win the guys, especially with her fiery eyes. But it’s bound to kill her too, ’tis true. No bull
@ann_feeney – SGypsyF seeks man who doesn’t love me. SWM w. mom issues seeks commitment. STorero seeks sex. This isn’t going anywhere good
@ninja_hotfrm – boy meets girl. boy and girl fall in love. boy gets jealous. boy kills girl then himself. Everyone else’s life is ruined.
@dumbledad – Men are thinking of sin/as factory girl takes a spin/Love is all bull/the cave only half full/& she’s dead to the cheering within
Peter West – Defiant luscious gypsy meets her Maker at arena(where her matador bf triumphs)after dissing permanent force sad sack.
@librarianjess – free was I born, free shall I die. literally, right now, by that knife in your hand, you creepy, needy ex-boyfriend.
@wordsmusic – Cards say death is her lot, but she never loses the plot. She shags Don Jose, then runs away; is she asking for trouble or not?
@otterhouse – (after complains that Carmen,not don Jose, dies) Cigarettes won’t kill you… better watch out for the guy that smokes them !

Cosi Fan Tutti
@dumbledad – Women eh! You recon? You’re on. ‘Told ya.
@jimmyjimjoes – My girl’s better than your girl. No she’s not! Wanna bet!
@nbrockmann – 2GuysMeetTheirGalsUndercover/TheirFidelityThusToDiscover/ TheyVow”Come Scoglio!”/ButInTheImbroglio/ Each1AlmostWedsTheWrongLover!
@operanorth – All women are unfaithful. Let’s test the theory with bad disguises! Oh yes, we were right. The little minxes…(Cosi fan tutte)
@txavacado – ||: hijinks among lovers; spunky maid & crusty old man stir up trouble :|| Moral: fake Albanians make better lovers than husbands
@AliciaCarina – Are women true? Hijinx & high notes w/2 sisters who get tested by, marry 2 interchangeable officers. Features Albanian disguises.

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Das Rheingold
A.C Douglas – #operaplot: Three flirts, a lovesick dwarf, two big dummies & a double-dealing control freak learn it’s not nice to fool with Mother Nature.
David – 3 watery tarts refuse gnome/&the Gods cannot pay 4 their home/they steal some gold/&Freia gets sold/back 2 wotan&Valhalla shalom

Dead Man Walking
@rtbaritone – Innocents lost. Modern Maria courageously stands by accused. Post-confession, she sings spiritual out of habit after he flatlines

Death In Venice
@eflamm – Tourist rolls, tourist flies, tourist swims, tourist dies.

Der Apotheker
@Frindley – Druggist’s drudge woos druggist’s daughter. Foppish foe offers Turkish bribe. False Turks arrive… Ok, who’s been reading Molière?

Der Freischutz
@s_haskins – discourages use / of cursed magic bullets/ in competition
@mlaffs – Max enters competition to win love. Kaspar has help from below, not above. Punishment fits like a glove.
@mlaffs – Max enters competition to win love. Kaspar has help from below, not above. Bullet flies, someone dies. karma fits like a glove.

Der Rosenkavalier
@wordsmusic – so why shouldn’t I have a toyboy? whaddyamean he’ll leave me for a younger model? Go gracefully, me?! Oh heck. Where’s the tenor?
@nbrockmann – Betrothal gift of silver rose leads to girl-on-girl-on-girl action. Vile lecher thwarted; cougar loses out, drops handkerchief.
@debaroos – Aging socialite gets freak on with boytoy. Loses boytoy to innocent young parvenue. Inevitable fate of a “starter” girlfriend.
Rachel – Girl playing a boy playing a girl and back to boy ditches aging lover for young hot thang, then all three sing orgasmic trio.
Paul Bendit – Toy boy lover starts flower delivery service to date pretty girl and (reluctantly) bails on affair with older woman.
@voxdixit – Ardent count waltzes to arms of younger woman and gives her a silver rose; older ex hurt, but they all work it out in final trio
@Frindley – The horns orgasm and it’s all downhill from there in the face of young love. Who’s it by? Mozart: you can tell from the costumes
@talkingparrot – =|:-) <3 :-) + {:-O + @->— + ;-) = =|:-) <3 :-) + :’-|

Dialogues of the Carmelites
@Frindley – Begins in French. Shy miss flees aristo danger for Carmelite cloister. Martyrdom not quite the plan. Ends badly and in Latin.
@s_haskins – when eighteen voices / reduced to solo, then none / the guillotine fell
djordje nesic – And then, there were nun
s_haskins – #operaplot from life of leisure to vow of poverty to vow of martyrdom to life on the lam to headless in only three and a half hours
@kriswaldherr – Have doubts about vocation, but give it up to Madame la Guillotine anyway.

Dido and Aeneas
@BrianRobison – Aeneas loves and leaves Dido; as he sails away, she grieves and dies. (With jazzier score and new ending, became *On the Town*.)
@grripip – @ aeneas, u fairweather friend! i say i do, u leave me for real estate?? Now mine is dust. ur so dam mercurial…but remember me.
@idmbassoon – land on beach fall in <3 w queen/leaving so soon what does it mean/go found rome/this isn’t his home/well i’ll just kill myself

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Die Fledermaus
@leleboo – the bat! no, just a guy in a cape. let’s spend the night in jail as a joke. wait, that wasn’t funny…well, it kind of was.
@thomas_rhodes – There 1ce w/a winged mouse/Who danced 2 music of Strauss/The clock chimed 6/Once wrongs are fixed/Now 4 a laugh @ the jailhouse
@bentoboxx – Went to the grand ball, woke up in jail. It all because of that damn bat!
djliss – Husband goes to party instead of prison after mix-up with a bat. Wife turns Hungarian to get him back. Blame the champers.
@idmbassoon – it’s a classic screwball comedy: man falls for his masked wife, ends up in jail, laughter & drinks ensue. it’s kinda batty.
@wordsmusic – #operaplot Husband goes to party instead of prison after mix-up with a bat. Wife turns Hungarian to get him back. Blame the champers.

Die Frauen Ohne Schatten
@FAKEfrindley – craigslist: Antiquity – Fertile woman willing to sell shadow to royal animaga staving off hubby’s petrification – (SE Islands)
@arbakr – Pregnancy Plan: Act I: Get shadow from human lady…Act II: ????…Act III: Marital bliss!

@arbakr – The 30yrs war was a bitch/They hold out but here’s a hitch/They argue abt war/What’s fighting for?/And figure it out in a stitch

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Die Lustige Witwe
FAKEfrindley – Pretty respectable widow & proud former flame waltz around the matter of money in the shadow of the Pontevedrian economic crisis.

Die Meistersingers
@wordsmusic– I can sing best. No you can’t. Yes I can, cos shoemaker says so, and you’re a nasty critic. And I’m GERMAN. Eva’s in paradise :-)
@s_haskins – Winner of first prize / the masterful song composed / by a shoemaker
@mlaffs – Walther writes a love song, the Masters say it’s all wrong. Because he’s in love, he gets help from above. Everyone sings along!
Paul Bendit – Town clerk reckons his song’s a shoe-in for marriage until cobbler backs true love for the sake of a decent tune. And Germany.
@s_haskins – There 1ce lived a mster-singer/considerd 2b quite a ringer/he helped rit-a-rhyme/2win just in time/his rival got only the stinger

Die Tote Stadt
@wordsmusic – Marie’s dead. Marietta’s alive. Paul thinks Marietta is Marie. Paul has dream. Paul doesn’t murder anyone really. Bye-bye Bruges.
@djliss – Nothing happens. He sleeps. More nothing. Let’s leave Bruges!
@arbakr – Paul can’t get over his wife/At least Marietta’s got life/Stuff goes down/Involving a clown…you can cut this plot with a knife

Die Walkure
@FoolAndTheOpera – Mighty warrior of great fighting stock, with spear and magic helmet. Kill da wabbit, kill da wabbit! Poor wittle wabbit
@daezer – There 1ce was a sister&brother/who cheated on her signif other/the Valkyrie had/2abandon the lad/&got sleepy, after she saved her
@kriswaldher – Brotherly-sisterly love. But, ah, he is the spring. Girl warrior understands love from their incestuous example.
@jgulden – Boy meets girl. Boy shags girl. Girl’s hubby not amused. Boy’s goddess half-sister throws boy’s fight w/ hubby. Shit hits fans
@nbrockmann – Boy+girl: lovers *&* longlost siblings-like no one saw THAT coming. Valkyrie saves girl, gets fired. Boy is killed; so is wabbit.

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Die Zauberflöte
@rrollett – 3 scary ladies, 3 angelic boys; the mother-in-law from hell, the wise mentor & can Tamino find his balance, and his true love?
@wordsmusic – Help, the snake will kill me! why are you dressed as a bird? OMG I’m in love. Nightmare mother-in-law. Let’s find enlightenment.
@jasonweinberger – snakes on a prince
@leleboo – everyone falls in love w/ prince whose bird/man friend plays a hypnotic mystical instrument. no double entendre, no, not at all.
s_haskins – Bird-man takes credit for killing a monster, his mouth is locked. Hilarity ensues. The good guys free a princess, and find love.
@txavacado – SM seeks SF for lifetime of enlightenment. Must match your picture and be open to adventure – esp firewalking and water sports.
@librarianjess – prince falls for painting, befriends bird-crazed eccentric; survives fire, water, & lethal high Fs, gets to keep girl AND flute
@daezer – Prince and Straight White Avian-Hominid ISO LTR w/MOTOS, d/d free, flute a plus, no dom mothers-in-law, transfeathered ok
A.C. Douglas – Evil queen sends flute-playing prince on bogus mission. Prince toots on flute, wins princess, foils queen. Queen left bereft.
@Willowfin – A 10′ snake; a stuttering birdcatcher; a screaming Queen; starcrossed lovers; Masonic ritual; misogyny; shut up, Schikaneder
@FAKEfrindley – Reasons to take up flute: provides protection & good cheer, calms wild beasts, gives safe passage thru elements, gets u the girl.
@tbs27 – guy in feathery suit/&pal think 2girls R quite cute/ QueenoftheNite’s/bark is worse than her bite/& all ends well,thx 2 the flute
@kriswaldherr – Freemasonary? Or fairy tale? You choose.
@ronniReich – a flute & a glock get u far/if a prince or birdcatcher u r/thru water & fire/& mom-in-law’s ire/they find love & obey the Templar
@musicbizkid – This one’s all bells & whistles: Love’s for the birds. (& the Italians) Thank Isis (or is it Osiris?) for a sympathetic priest.
@jasonweinberger – hmmm. #operaplot (hm hm hm hmmm hm hm hmmm hm hm hmmm hmmm hm.)

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Don Carlo
@feliciamehl – a rebel lies dead, who’s responsible? a tyrant, princess, lover, mom? what started it? a letter, a portrait, a garden tryst…
@ann_feeney – In love w stepmom. Faux pas with Dad’s mistress. BFF takes rap 4me, is whacked. Granddad’s ghost(?) shows up. Yeah, I’m inbred
@nancyholzner – Dad, she’s my girl! Then at least let me rule Flanders. Oh, hell, I’m going to live with granddad
@max579 – King steals son’s bride, but Queen secretly still loves her “son”. Everyone is miserable. No one saves Flanders.
@megoceleste – There was a young Don from Spain/who never was very sane/His girl went for dad/Rodrigo went bad/Now no one in Flanders can reign
@arbakr – Carlo’s girl’s now his mom/obv. he just can’t be calm/he ticks off his dad/the inquisitor gets mad/but Chas V* takes them all on
@AliciaCarina – Unveiled as his son’s amour, did she ever love the King or was it just politics? Inquisiting minds want to know.

Don Giovanni
@Mmmusing – Cad kills Commendatore. Conquests cataloged, courts country cutie. Cry creates chaos. Cast Commendatore comeback cues comeuppance
Stephen – #operaplotKissed the girls and made them cry Killed one’s dad and watched him die Offered chances to repent He opted to be Hades sent. Men!
@megoceleste – Tries, damn-dad shows up, has to kill. Tries, damn-ex shows up, has to run. Tries, damn-she screams, party’s over. Tries-damned!
@NLebrecht – Seedy Don has three girls on the go, more in the backlist. He can’t hack it any more. The furniture speaks and he’s toast.
A.C. Douglas – Notorious rake kills old guy, then laughingly invites old guy’s ghost to dinner. Bad idea. Ghost accepts. Rake gets burned.
Pat – Don Giovanni: entitled serial rapist/murderer stopped by victim’s monument
@funwithiago – Lothario says he loves women but always hangs around with this dude and sometimes wears his clothes. They break up over dinner
@vkwheels – Job Search: roadie looks for new boss after STD ridden, drug addicted ex boss is torn to shreds by ex lovers & disapproving dad.
@wordsmusic – Dear Don, 1003 women in Spain alone is too many. You’ll be in deep shit when my dad’s ghost gets to you. Go to hell. Love, Anna
@AskMeAboutOpera – Bad boys go to HELL! said the furious guest and threw him into the flames.
@ronniReich – Hell opens its mouth/but he has no regrets for/1,000 in Spain
@djliss – In the best opera yet written, a man achieves the Third Stage of the Erotic. (#operaplot submitted on behalf of Kierkegaard.)
@jasonweinberger – wow, that is a long list of names. think it’ll catch up with him? #operaplot

Dr Atomic
@mcmvanbree – Like an atom bomb about to explode. Oh oh oh oh oh explode.
@amissio – No sand. No physicist.
@aspaul – Some scientists learn how to split atoms and sing about their guilt in plagiarized verse. (Boom.)
@reneesalewski – Oppenheimer’s making a bomb/Kitty sings Rukeyser with aplomb/Detonation draws near/The maid sings…uh…this libretto blows
@s_haskins – in ur lb0rt0ree hacking ur a-bom
@FAKEFrindley – The nuclear-physical Trinity meets the metaphysical three-person’d god in Adamsian setting. John Donne wins
Stephen – #operaplot We have to test this big bomb. Perhaps it won’t work. Anyway the weather’s bad. BOOM. It worked. My bad! Let’s get mystical.

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Einstein On The Beach
@BrianRobison – Well,there’s Einstein,a line &a dot, A spaceship,some solfège(a lot), Endless counting refrains, Misc.trains, 5 full hrs-& no #operaplot ?!?
Alex – one two three four five six seven eight
@djliss – And these are the days my friend. And these are the days my friend. And these are the days my friend
MouseQueen – Phillip Glass instruments numbers instruments Phillip Glass numbers numbers numbers instruments Phillip Glass solfege organ.
@djliss – “Kiss me, John,” she implored. And leaning over, he pressed his lips warmly to hers in fervent osculation………..

Paul Bendit – Noisy woman proves immune to anger management therapy for 90 minutes until brother returns to kill their mum who’d killed dad.
@mlaffs – As an animal she’s treated/conversations are heated/Here comes Orest/revenge is addressed/She dies when she gets what she needed.
@tbs27 – Everyone in this family’s a wreck. Nightmares and revenge obsession do not improve dancing skills. Watch out for the axe.

Entfurung aus dem Serail
@Mmmusing – A prince’s fiancé is kept w/in a harem so expect 2 see him try 2 re-collect her, posing as an architect. Joseph votes:2many notes
@primalamusica – Noble lady trapped in harem of surprisingly complex Pasha. Will her fiancé get to her before Stockholm syndrome does?

Eugene Onegin
@wordsmusicHe doesn’t love me! And he shot his best friend. Wish I hadn’t written that letter. I’ll marry a prince. Now he loves me? Tough.
@Frindley – He spurns her love, kills his friend, leaves the country. He returns enlightened, she’s married a friend, she spurns his love
@pattyoboe – I ♥ u. “I don’t ♥ u.” Boo hoo. Duel Bang bang, friend dead. “I ♥ u after all.” “I ♥ u, but too late now.” “My life sucks.”
@mlaffs – Tatyana writes, Lensky and Onegin fight. Later he sees her from across the room. “Will you still have me?” Not quite!
Gert – bookish girl falls for Haughty Russkie. Duel! Oh noz! Bessie mate killed to death. Girl marries much older Prince. HR regrets
@misswhiplash – Girl meets cad in country,falls in love,sends letter,is rebuffed.Everyone dances.Cad kills poet.Long time passes.Girl rejects
MouseQueen – Onegin’s Lenski’s bff, Tanya’s vain.She says i<3u, Onegin lolz.Lenski’s jealous, gets pwnd by Onegin.He <3’s Tanya,gets no thnx.
MouseQueen – Tanya wants Onegin, he says no. Onegin wants Tanya, she says no. Sad, pointless, but with fantastic music.
@Almaviva99 -I love you Jean. I might sound drunk but I’ve only had one gin. Don’t love me? Oh. Duel tragedy. Too much too little too late

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@max579 – Delusional ladies’ man gets everything he deserves and more when he sends the same love letter to two women
reneesapewski – Horny knight has a horny night with fairies in the forest. Composer has the last laugh.

@campbellvertesi – I’d give my soul to be young again! Wilted flowers, dead brothers, babies, insanity and assumption. Careful what you wish for!
@max579 – The devil thoroughly enjoys seducing mortals with youth, love and jewels, and has a good laugh at their expense.
@rrollett – Say it with flowers? Jewels work much better. But in the end the devil gets his due; Marguerite gets paradise, via the gallows.
@MadOpera – Faust sells his soul/to Mephisto’s goal/youthful love ensues/but so do the blues/as Marguerite is schemed/and finally redeemed
Dr. Geoduck – Who wants to live forever? Me! No, wait, i changed my mind. *dies*

@ogiovetti – Wife cross-dresses as a guard to get her husband out of jail free. Pandemonium ensues. Whatever happened to a file in a cake?
@Semalina – I’m deeply in love w/ F. Oh, he’s a woman? No problem. Oh, she frees her hubby from prison? Wait&where’s MY happy ending?
@kriswaldherr – Wife dressed in drag. Infiltrates prison. Rescues husband. Too many overtures.

Four Saints In Three Acts
@thomasrmiller Four saints, three acts.

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Gianni Schicchi
@Mmmusing – Dante writes that Gianni Schicchi robs a clan by being sneaky. He wills himself a big estate; his daughter’s song is also great
@rrollett – O Buoso, you knew us well! An affecting deathbed scene gives the Donatis something to mourn, & the lovers something to live on.

Girl Of The Golden West
@musicbizkid – Poor maiden falls 4 no-good man? Pity her not: 2 aces in sock beat 1 up the sleeve. Damsel on horseback saves Dick, day. <3, FTW

Giulio Cesare
Rachel – Giulio cesare- Lets see how many countertenors we can fit in one opera.
@Frindley -See the conquering hero comes (wrong #operaplot) while she bathes in ass’s milk. Revenge & plotting saves her throne but the bath gets cold.
@voxdixitHe came, he saw, he cross-dressed* (*if Cesare is sung by a mezzo, that is)
@AliciaCarina – Who2rule Egypt? Cleo&Cesare, postvendettas! Pompeo, 4pax, by Gen da cap’d & CleoBro btray’d, 2who2die. P widow&son jail’d, freed.

@daezer – snip-bye-sail-welcome2Gibich/Gutrune’s love juice bewitches/Hagen calls mob/Siegfried shishkabob/ the world Brunnhilde unstitches
Adam – Also sprach Brünnhilde: “Die Götter sind tot! Die Götter bleiben tot! Und ich habe sie getötet.”
@kriswaldherr – Guy falls for aunt but forgets. All ends in flames.

Steven – #operaplot “Arsenal!” Hooligan fan beats up geezer, shoots into wrong goal (wink, wink!). Sorry, Mum. Man is dis-United.

Hansel and Gretel
@Hammo515 – crunchy, crunchy candy/baking kids is quite dandy/you,eat some pie/is that a bony finger I spy? / into the oven you, oops, I, go
@bcrystwhitt – Misunderstood witch attacked, shoved into oven by children. Celebration follows.
bryan – rotten children escape abusive household only to get lost in the forest, dream of eating, and nearly get eaten themselves.

@ann_feeney – CEO Idomeneo signs bad deal to save job, self. Kids to pay debt. Wait! Gods provide bailout package if CEO steps down

I Due Foscari
Bob – It’s tough being doge. My personal life’s a mess, the bass hates me, and I die in Act 3. At least my last name isn’t Boccanegra.

I Pagliacci
@nbrockmann – Life imitates art: sad clown loses it, stabs wife & her lover for real, not pretend. They die. Wasn’t this a Law & Order episode?
@funwithiago – I’m a funny guy in the funny business but don’t try being funny with the Mrs. or I’ll bleed you a liter and la commedia e finita
@aspaul – Pagliacci, as imagined by Michael Bay: IN A WORLD of betrayal and deceit, there’s one clown who will make. Them. Pay.
@otterhouse – Clowns hope, clowns gloat, clowns cherish, one clown cuts throat; Ladies & Gentlemen, this is the mirror of your life…
@AskMeAboutOpera – Luciano loves Teresa but she cheats on him with Dwayne. Luciano stabs them. Juan and Kenn are shocked.

@VoxDixit – Hey there, Neptune! Kill the first person I see? Sure! Oops, it’s my own son. Thank Jupiter for Ilia and easily appeased gods! #operaplot
Marilyn – Father makes classic mistake of offering to sacrifice first person he sees to win favor with the gods. BIG mistake!

Il Barbiere di Siviglia
@nbrockmann – Need help with winning/Young girl’s ardor?/In Seville/Just ask your barber!/Burma-Shave

Il Prigioniero
@debaroos – jailer leaves door ajar/inmate slips away/lost in maze/follows the light/oopsies: runs into tree/WTF I thought I was free

Il Travatore
@amndw2 – Witch-burning. Baby-swap. Rivalry. Anvils! Duel. Suicide. More witch-burning. Where are the Marx Brothers when you need them?
@awaranch – Gypsy’s mom killed by Count, kills own son, Count’s sons feud over girl, girl kills self, older son kills younger son
@feliciamehl – fraternal love contest ends in suicide and murder, “he wasn’t my son but i loved him anyway” says gypsy, authorities shocked
David – #operaplot1-Soprano2-Tenor3-Baritone4-Mezzo.1loves2mistakesfor3 .4killsbaby.2saves1from3.3captures4,2.1marries3tosave2.1kills1.3kills2.4wins

Il Viaggio a Reims
@AliciaCarina – With many star turns, this bel canto work is kind of like a Robert Altman movie but set in 1825 France, sung in Italian. No real #operaplot!

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Jerry Springer The Opera
@vkline – Talk show host encourages flamboyant guests to embarrass themselves and family members.
@Foolandtheopera – Satanic warm-up man makes murder child’s play, sending talk show host to hell. Holey host returned after uniting Heaven and Hell

@arbakr – Steva is clearly a dick/But Jenufa falls for his tricks/She has his kid/The ‘nicka gets rid/But Laca forgives her right quick

Katya Kabanova
@primalamusica – Mother-in-law from hell drives her son’s frustrated young wife into the arms of another, into madness and into the Volga

Krol Roger
@ogiovetti – Roxana puts on her red light for new heretic in town. Tells DH “You gotta have faith.” Dance, dance, dance, the shepherd lives.

@wvclassical – Boy meets girl from Arles. They fall in love and plan wedding. She’s unfaithful-He finds out, goes crazy, and kills himself.

L’Eliser D’Amore
@armndw2 – Placebo study by Dr. Dulcamara finds 750 ml of Bordeaux only slightly less effective than love potion, in some cases.
@txavacado – Liquid courage proves to be worth every scudo when A realizes N is her lobster. Like FRIENDS, but in Italian & with less coffee.
@nbrockmann – Adina’s in love w/Belcore,/And can think of no other signore./Dulcamara gives vino/To poor Nemorino/And calls it Elisir d’Amore.
@ronniReich – He loves her! She laughs. He’s leaving. She cries! A little wine, they work it out.

L’Enfant et les Sortilèges
@amndw2 – Kid sees dancing chairs, talking cups, singing cats, storybook princesses, & sad squirrels. It’s not a Disney movie, it’s an #operaplot!

L’Heure Espagnol
@Frindley – Weekly winding ritual & manifold, mixed-up indiscretions behind the counter prove good for clock business in Toledo. Cuck-old! #operaplot

L’Incoronazione di Poppea
@BrianRobison – Lustful Nerone orders advisor’s death, exiles dissidents, dumps spouse, crowns Poppea. Love conquers all, but not in a good way.

@bobopera – (N+O), (N+P), (O2+P), (D+O2), (-S), (O+O2+D)-P, N-(O+O2+D) = N+P

@SimonThomas41 – Orpheus loses Eurydice. And again and again and again and again and again..
@armndw2 – You can’t bring her back. Yes you can, your song was great! No you can’t, you looked back! Oh, what the hell: love conquers all.
@renegadeoboe – Orfeo and Euridice fall in love. Euridice dies. Euridice stays dead. Orfeo is the most miserable failure.
@BrianRobinson – Mournful Orfeo,/ twice bereaved: by snakebite, and/ poor impulse control.
bryan – Songwriter laments in major key, fails to follow simple instructions, and succumbs to until-recently-dead wife’s nagging.
@AliciaCarina – The dancing is nice & his song can save her from hell. He ignores advice, looks back. She dies, he tries. Love revives, reunites.

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La Belle Helene
@Frindley – Trojan War: The Prequel. The face to launch a 1000 ships sails off to Troy in Paris’s arms after inauspicious augural deception.

La Boheme
@Mmmusing – 4 Bohemians: Performer sings for supper. Poet authors romance. Painter brushes with ex. Philosopher thinks coat sale. (Girl dies)
@divamover – Crazy kids! Can’t pay the Rent, on-off romances, friends sell their coats: Mimi is still toast, even with gelida manina
@tbs27 – They meet; she dies; the end. Oh, and there’s also a scene in a cafe.
Pat – Act I: I get by with a little help from my friends Act II: Love is all you need. Act III: You’re going to lose that girl
@gaspsiagore – Starving artists/terminally ill seamstress. Xmas eve, cuffietta, jealousy, coat, death. Sometimes sad events call for happy music
@kriswaldherr – Where is my key? Burn that play. Cough up blood. We’ll part in springtime. Where is my muff?

La Calisto
@SimonThomas41 – God drags up and seduces nymph (saucy!). God exits with bear behind (sad). Nymph ascends to heavens and twinkles (divine)
@lixydust – Diana’s nymphy virgin, Juno makes her ursine. Giove fooled her, cheated, Now by guilt defeated, Calisto with the stars he aligns.
@SuperGreek – Boy meets girl, boy morphs into girl to get girl, Boys wife gets mad & turns girl into bear, Boy feels bad & turns girl into star

La Cenerentola
@rtbaritone – Domestic damsel triumphs as Siren of Semiquaver with no help from fairy godmother, magic pumpkin, or see-through slipper.
@GOperaPR – No mice. No pumpkin coach. No glass slipper. Just a sweet Angel sporting a bangle for the man who swapped titles for true love

La Clemenza di Tito
amndw2″>@amndw2 – I love him! But he won’t marry me. I hate him! If you love me, go kill him! Wait, he’ll marry me after all? Aargh! Come back!

La Dame Blanche
ogiovetti – Dame wears white to set a wayward steward right. Statue helps amnesiac reclaim his land, memory and veiled gal in hand.

La Fanciulla del West
@otterhouse – Dick and Min, went up the hill, to have a lot of fun, Jack wanted her back, Min whacked that Jack, will she have Dickies son?

La Fille Du Regiment
@ann_feeney – Marie has a regiment full of fathers and a cranky aunt, okay, mother, but love finds a way before Tonio has to pop 9 more Cs
@Mmmusing – Marie is a French GI Jane/Mom says the girl is insane/2 fall 4 the tenor/but he’s sure 2 win’er /He sings 9 hi C’s with no strain
@wordsmusic – Therewasagirloftheregiment/ whoseauntieprovedanimpediment/ Shetookheraway,butcalleditaday/ whenToniosaid ‘you’rehermum,youmeant’

La Finta Giardiniera
@ogiovetti – Jilted lover disguises herself as the gardener to get back at her newly-engaged ex. It’s a mad mad mad mad world.

La Juive
@ogiovetti – Love triangle between an allegiance-torn prince, his wife, and his lover/her maid. Add mysterious dad and it’s Aida, Heeb-style.

La Gioconada
@frindley – Hello muddah, hello faddah, I’m in love w/ Gioconda! But she hates me (so enticing), And goes in for all this noble sacrificing

La Rondine
Pat – La Rondine: Fallen woman throws herself into the sea to avoid meeting boyfriend’s mom.
@ogiovetti – Courtesean falls for young and moneyed naif. They escape to the country. She leaves him. She doesn’t have TB in this one.

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La Traviata
@nbrockmann – Consumptive doxy wooed by nice guy; pa makes her end it. They fight, they make up, she dies-all while bored violas play oom-pa-pa
@aspaul – Courtesan & boy consumed with love. Courtesan consumed w/ guilt, leaves boy. Boy consumed w/ rage. Courtesan dies of consumption
@s_haskins – She parties, though sick. She is courted: mysterioso! They move to the country. Husband tricked, leaves. She coughs. She dies.
@supergreek – Boy meets girl, boy falls for girl, dad convinces girl to leave boy, boy gets mad & humiliates girl, cough cough cough, girl dies
@max579 – Retired hooker proves that she really does have a heart of gold but dies too soon to enjoy her happy ending.
Peter West – Travs:Courtesan tries to turn over new leaf in the country with Mr.Thing.To no avail.Anal dad now knows;too little,too late.
@tbs27 – Cheers! Life is a party, full of dancing, champagne, and card playing… until you come down with consumption.

La Voix Humane
@otterhouse – *Sings* “You leave me h-a-a-a-a-a-a-nging on the t-e-e-e-lepho-hone” (but then in French)…
@reneesalewski – We listen as ‘She’ talks, swaying between dignity and despair, constantly interrupted by a phone line bent on torturing her
@primalamusic – Parisian mistress rings ex for long and painful chat. Kills herself when she realises he’ll never pay her phone bill again.)
La Vida Breve
@nbrockmann – Life is short-so is this opera. Rich guy <3 poor gal but weds another-at the wedding, she yells @ him, dies. Very Jerry Springer.

Lady MacBeth of Mtsensk District
@BrianRobison – #operaplot Katerina and Sergei asphyxiate Zinovy, then marry. Corpse discovered; honeymoon in Siberia cut short. Muddle instead of marriage

Le Grand Macabre
@SimonThomas41 – Horns honk, Piet gets pissed, lesbians lust, telescope, spider, Go-Go goes, Death blusters and melts, World doesn’t end
@BrianRobison – Life’s Grand,* death Macabre: Fate, or fake? *If offstage orgasm lasts longer than the apocalypse, consult your metaphysician.

Le Jeu de Robin et Marion
@djliss – Robin ♥ Marion; is sad he’s too old to enter #operaplot; awaits #medievalpastorelleplot.

Le Nozze di Figaro
@Mmmusing = Count wishes he Susanna had; wife=sad, servant=mad, a mezzo plays a lusty lad. Switcheroo exposes cad, finale he admits he’s bad
@wordsmusic – Count <3 maid, valet <3 maid, countess <3 count, cherubino <3 everyone. Flowerpot broken, pin lost, chaos, remorse, love we hope.
@greerbee – Wedding night marred by threat of Feudal Right, women change clothes and fool men (easily)
@nbrockmann – AlmavivaHasAimsMostImpure/ThatHisWifeCanNoLongerEndure/ SoShePlotsW/HerMaid/HidesDisguisedInAGlade/ JigIsUp-NoMoreDroitDeSeigneur
@voxdixit – Retired barber teams up with long-lost parents, lovesick teen, jilted wife, et. al., to save fiancé from clutches of local cad.
@Mmmusing – Wedding Day: Boss wants bride. Old bag wants me. Page just wants it. Send letter. Dress up page. Find mom in bag. It works out!

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Les Contes D’Hoffmann
@amndw2 – A cynical poet named Hoff/Tells of his 3 loves (don’t scoff):/The 1st is a doll/The 3rd is a moll/& the 2nd succumbed to a cough.

Life is a Dream
@djliss – Poor Segismundo: Premier is a Dream after Conn. Opera folds. Thirty years later, Act II wakes up, netting a Pulitzer.

Little Women
@rrollett – 4 girls, poor girls; then they were 3. Meg gets the tutor, Amy his pupil – now she’s rich! At last, Jo Bhaers her heart

@mlaffs – Ortrud tries Brabant to con/Lohengrin comes with the dawn/Don’t ask his name/his powers will wane/Turns out the boy’s a swan
@arbakr – Her bf shows up on a swan/but ortrud won’t be a pawn/’trud sows enough doubt/that elsa flips out/she dies but he’s already gone
Semalina – operaplot# Poor Leo Slezak: it left without me. What time’s the next swan?

Lucia di Lammermoor
@max579 – Selfish brother tricks sister into marrying a rich man while her boyfriend is out of town. Honeymoon is a complete disaster.
@tbs27 – Everyone loves a wedding/&Scotland’s a lovely setting/but theBride goes mad/her brother’s a cad/&the Groom is dead in his bedding
FAKE@Frindley – How do you solve a problem like Lucia? Feuding kilts, secret marriage, forced marriage: all leads to madness, murder & suicide
B4AfterWebRadio – Soldiers seek intruder. Girl sees ghost, exchanges rings with lover, marries another, cursed by lover. She’s toast.

Lucrezia Borgia
ionarts – Rich woman makes her notorious family problems worse by accidentally poisoning her long-lost son. Twice.

@BrianRobinson – Sex kitten leaves a trail of dead husbands and lovers: doctor, painter, editor, composer, sapphic Countess; Lulu’s back in town!
@B4AfterWebRadio – Ringmaster introduces snake of many names. Some of her lovers end up dead. She’s rich, then poor, gets by on back, undone by Jack
@AliciaCarina – Modern portrait of seduction. Pretty soon to marry, Pandora’s box opens. She dances, kills, ends poor, ripped. Send in the clown.

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Madama Butterfly
@tbs27 – Navy man buys Japanese wife, house for 999 years, then splits. She’s right: un bel di he does come back…with Wife #2. Dolore!
@KueblerWolf – I love you! Let’s get married and have a family! ‘kay bye, I’m an imperialist jerk. “Luv u 2, take the baby why don’t you!”
@vkline – War bride abandoned by husband. Commits suicide after relinquishing custody of son
@pattyoboe – (Sing): Oh say, can you see, the American man? You’ll get married, he’ll leave, then return for the baby. Suicide only choice …
@catmacaulay – Oh when will he come back? Oh, when will he come back? Oh. He’s back.
@prolagus – You siri meido, Americans are gentorumen, un beru di he wiru come bakku and stay wizu me foreba. Dorore? Dorore? …Dorore!
@otterhouse – Audience leaves hall bewildered: “It’s Madame Butterfly who dies, and not Pinkerton, killed by his wife” !!
@AskMeAboutOpera – Naive Japanese chick thinks teenage pregnancy is cool. But it is not so after growing up she stabs herself to death.
bryan – Oh, say can(‘t) you see, that he only came back (with his new wife) to take away your boy and leave you no option but suicide?
@primalamusica – Amatory lepidopterist traps fragile specimen among Nagasaki cherry blossoms. Fumbling to release her, he crushes her instead.

Manon Lescaut
@max579 – Simple country girl becomes The Material Girl, refuses to choose between money and love, ends up getting arrested.

Marino Faliero
@bobopera – It’s tough being doge. My personal life’s a mess, the bass hates me, and I die in Act 3. At least my last name isn’t Boccanegra.

@arbakr – She’s in love with an older het-man/Who can’t let go of his plan/He beheads her dad/Driving her mad/And back she goes to her clan

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Nixon In China
@aspaul – Nixon doesn’t like communism. Nixon visits China, sees heavy-handed allegorical opera. Nixon still doesn’t like communism.
@operabladerunner – mao dick, dick mao. Politics? Riddles. Chou toasts,Pat sees pigs,all see ballet, then to bed. Minimal progress,minimalist music.
@dbrown – Nixon in China
@Nick_E_Fletcher – Tricky-Dicky goes on weekend break to China. Afterwards all engage in philosophical discussion.

@armndw2 – Dear Agony Aunt: I’m a Druid secretly in love with a Roman. We have 2 kids. I think he’s cheating with a younger priestess. Help!
@talkingparrot – circa 50 bc. police versus hippies. all ends in tears

Oedipus Rex
@djliss – Oedipus Rex pestilenciam pugnat, sed nemo intelligit. Heureusement, il y a un narrateur!
@Frindley – Son adandoned after patricidal prediction kills his father anyway AND marries his mother. That kind of thing will make you blind.

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@ogiovetti – Hey, Z, I’m mad for this chick who’s spoken for. Help me out? “No.” “I’ll kill ’em both.” “No, wait, I’ll help.” “Cheers mate.”

Orphée aux enfers
@Frindley – Oh, what a simply splendid way the story’s ended, even though it’s not as Homer once intended… Mythologie à la mode

Orpheus In The Underworld
@Frindley – Can we sort out this infernal business with Orpheus, Euridice, Aristaeus/Pluto, Jupiter, Mercury, Bacchus et al? Yes we Can-Can!
FAKE@Frindley – Can we sort out this Olympian scandal with Euridice, Aristaeus/Pluto and Orpheus’s infernal fiddling? Yes we Can-Can!
@Semalina – Lyric soprano is fed up with husband & his infernal violin. She’d rather cavort w/ a buzzing fly in Hades. Yes we can-can!
@dbrown – public opinion forces violinist to save wife. Gods sent to investigate. Party it up in Hell. All ends somewhat confusingly.

@gaspsiagore – Verdi & Boito perfect Shakespeare: moor hero; evil man plants jealousy; wife innocent; moor can’t take it, kills wife & self; sad
@vkline – Jealous husband stabs wife after neighborhood troublemaker plants incriminating evidence on local boy toy.
@s_haskins – #haiku #operaplot no matter how brave / Shakespeare’s Moor will always be / tricked into murder

@arbakr – Amfortas can’t get healed/But IS Pars really for reals?/He escapes Klingsor’s grip/Goes for a trip/And wraps it all up in a field
Paul Bendit – Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade without the jokes.
@BrianRobison – #operaplot Pure fool resists sexy sorceress, gains holy spear, saves King and Grail knights. Now poster boy for abstinence education.
A.C. Douglas – #operaplot: Young simpleton shoots swan. Old windbag appalled. Half-crazed woman enlightens Simpleton. Simpleton declared redeemer and king.

@talkingparrot – Cross-dressing swingers’ party in the Bay of Naples: sex, drugs and baroque and roll.

Pelleas et Melisande
@tbs27 – Not a good idea to dangle your wedding ring over a well.Where are you from, anyway?I predict a bleak ending, if we ever get there
@debaroos – pel loves mél but doesnt say it. mél loves pel but doesnt say it. this goes on for a while. FIN
@primalamusica – PTSD victim? Shampoo ad? Bluebeard’s ex? Or maybe she’s just not that into you. Ask your brother.

Peter Grimes
@funwithiago – Look, remote English fishing village, stop shouting my name! I never MEAN to kill small children. 4th time lucky? No? Fine. L8er
@SimonThomas41 – Storms batter coast, while village folk dance and scowl, fisherman neglects charge and boat sinks
@tbs27 – something fishy in the borough:Grimes is at his exercise. We’ll never know the truth, but thanks to village gossip, he is sunk
dumbledad – Sailor abuse; sea; sailor abuse; sea; teacher abuse; sea; child abuse; sea; death; sea
misswhiplash – Boy drowns.Folk accuse man,though acquitted.Man gets new boy.New boy falls off cliff.Mob advances.Man sails away.Probably drowns.
Mmmusing – How’s the fishing? Not good 4 Grimes; worse 4 his help. He wants 2 marry Ellen, but ends up with the best character: the Sea.
wvclassical – Dead kid. Wasn’t my fault! try again? cool. New kid dead? bogus. *sinks*
thomasmiller – A man, a boy, a boat. Fisherfolk just don’t understand

Porgy and Bess
@thomas_rhodes – Da 1ce w/a crip on cat row/Dat loved a girl addicted to blow/Big storm come/Crown be done/N he walk @ da end of da show

Postcard From Morocco
dotdotdottweet – #operaplot The boonies. 6 people wait for a train to nowhere that never comes. One thing’s certain: these folks have some serious baggage!

Postillon du lonjumeau
@otterhouse – The Postilion always marries twice…

La Prima Musica/Der Schauspieldirektor
@FAKEFrindley – First the music then the [Italian] words? Or a flustered impresario auf Deutsch? Opera vs Singspiel playoff in Joe 2’s orangerie

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@pattyoboe – opera haiku: sad sack hides daughter/cad tries to get her in sack/daughter dies in sack
@Frindley – He had a hunch; the Duke was up to no good. Precautions futile: between ducal charm & noble curse Gilda didn’t stand a chance
@Hammo515 – My man’s a cad, My dad’s a hunchback. O Cielo! I’m too pretty to die in this sack!
@s_haskinsvengeance is costly / hero wills for dead rival / finds his dying child
Pat – Rigoletto: Duke bangs bird, flunkey bags bird.
@s_haskins – vengeance is costly / hero wills for dead rival / finds his dying child
@campbellvertesi – Jester’s jokes r not so funny, tenor duke tries 2 rape his honey. Tho a hired killer he will send, it’s a maledizione in the end!
@gaspsiagore – Il duca s’amuse. Il gobbo amused yet cursed. Mantuan curse means business, attracts assassin. Love, abduction, spying, sacrifice.

Riders To The Sea
dumbledad – 5 of 6 sons drowned. Last son off to market in storm. Whoops, all 6 now drowned! Time to relax about the sea.

Romeo & Juliet
@pattyoboe – They both may die a Shakespearean death, but this time they take their last breath together. Lucky kids.

Ruslan and Ludmilla
@djliss – The knight, off to rescue the princess, is blocked by a giant head. What’s the knight to do? Tongue-piercing time!

dumbledad – Fishy tale of bored teen seeking love. ÄŒury mury fuk. Teen silenced, but her chatty lover lacks constancy. Watery graves for all.
@primalamusica – Soluble, voluble sprite prays to moon for love. Gets wish and legs. Loses voice and the boy. Comes to a Grimm end.

Ruslan and Lyudmila
@djliss – The knight, off to rescue the princess, is blocked by a giant head. What’s the knight to do? Tongue-piercing time!

Saint François d’Assise
@otterhouse – Saint François kisses a leper, preaches , get stigmatized, meets an angel, dies….. and all is Tweeted in music!

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@nbrockmann – Striptease w/7 veils, head on a platter. Moral: kissing dead people is bad for your health. TV14: nudity, violence, necrophilia.
salome9 – Saucy princess wants holy man’s kiss, alive or dead. Dances for Herod, gets loved one’s head. Killed beneath moon blood-red
@amissio – Dance for daddy dearest, divine dude decapitated
AlexJ:@#$% H:WANT C B00B13S! S:WANT PRESENTS! H:kk, TITS OR GTFO S:(.)(.) H:ZOMG B00B13S!! S:J-Plate pls H:kk S:ZOMG AM BLOODY & DEAD
Peter West– Disturbed girl makes sexy dance 4 horny daddy.Pops disgusted with prophet obsession.Girl not disturbed anymore after bloody kiss.
@talkingparrot – introduction, corruption, seduction, decapitation, salivation, remuneration
@thomas_rhodes – She danced 7veils of blissB/c she wanted John 2kiss/Herod gave her d Head/She woulda had it n bed/But d guard crushed her instead
@otterhouse – 15 yr old girl seduces a Saint, strips for her stepfather, sucks on a dead man’s lip, and you call opera boring?
@voxdixit – Do a little dance (for Herod), make a little love (with the severed head of John the Baptist), get killed tonight!
bryan – scorned princess dances biblical striptease for pervy stepdad only to find prophet’s eyes closed and his lips bitter-is it love?

Samson et Dalila
amissio – Strong man has weakness for Philistine hairdresser. His new look brings down the house Samson et Dalila
@otterhouse – Samson had more hairs then brains…

@daezer – A young man who didn’t no fear/made a sword&then used it 2shear/his dad&a dragon/&after a flagon/his fear appeared ina brassiere
Bryan – cocky lad forges sword, kills dragon, and jumps through fire, only to marry his breastplate-wearing and “hojoto”-shrieking aunt
mousequeen”>@MouseQueen – Pitiful dwarf, arrogant youth, resigned senior, bored dragon, insightful bird, and disoriented woman interact in tone poem.

Simon Boccanegra
@tbs27 – Popolo restless.Amelia is Maria, Andrea is really Fiesco. It’s 25 yrs later? Is that Paolo or Pietro? Nevermind, enjoy the music.

@AliciaCarinaEndless pleasure, endless love, but sleep, dost leave her to herself adore. Like lightning, she does implore, and then’s no more.
@greerbee – Jealous wife vows revenge against hubby’s gf by tricks narcissistic gf into demanding what she can’t have. Everyone gets drunk

Suor Angelica
@idmbassoon – Even nuns have sons
bryan – Nun fails to think plan through; realizes (almost) too late that suicide won’t reuinite her with son. Luckily: miracle granted!

@Mmmusing Susannah bathes, Elders see, blame her; Blitch says fervently Repent, but sins against her, so he’s killed by her protective bro
dotdottweet – (OMG she’s hot!) “Skinny-dipping bad, Bible good.” Her peas go uneaten. A laying-on of hands? Get lost, you son of a Blitch!
@CornoDiBassetto – The preacher is a scoundrel. Things end badly.

Sweeney Todd
@nbrockmannChair slick with blood?/You’ll think it odd/Unless your barber’s/Sweeney Todd/Burma-Shave

A | B | C | D | E | F | G | H | I | J | K | L | M | N | O | P | R | S | T | W | X |Orphans

@ogiovetti – Musician to Venus: I’m gone/Being saved > being yr pawn/He hooks up with E/Says “it’s not for me”/But is still forgiven by dawn

@ann_feeneyThais:Physical luv rocks. Athanaël:No, spiritual luv rocks. Thais:Yes, spiritual rocks. Athanaël:No, physical rock. Thais:Dead
@voxdixitMonk: Repent, courtesan! [Meditation] Courtesan: Okay! Monk: Wait, there is no God after all! Courtesan: Too late, I’m dead!
@wvclassicalEvangelizing project goes too well–I wanted you to be my gal, not a martyr! Only meditative violinist happy in the end.
bryan – The mirror must have made her look fat – why else would she leave her glamorous lifestyle to starve to death in the desert?

The Bartered Bride
@Frindley – Lively maid betrothed to village idiot :( But marriage bargain turns out ok in G&S-style birth switch :) Exit pursued by a bear

The Beggar’s Opera
FAKE@Frindley – Polly is a sad slut: finds upwardly mobile marriage is more encumbered than suspected. Madness & folly in a totally Gay pastiche

The Bonesetter’s Daughter
Marilyn Mercur– Based on famous novel same name, dghtr of bonesetter travels to China and finds mother and self

The Crucible
@bcrystwhitt – Small puritan village. Devil’s influence causes adultury, dancing, voodoo, hysteria. Nineteen tortured and/or hung.

The Cunning Little Vixen
Dr.Geoduck – I’m gonna catch that fox! Argh, a frog! Wait, is this the prologue or epilogue? If the latter, then I’ll throw in some metahumor.

The Doctor In Spite Of Himself
@Mmmusing – Lumberjack still beating his wife. She ID’s him as doctor who must be beaten to practice. Thus thrashed, he’s hailed as a genius

The Egyptian Helena (nice try at sucking up but Miss M isn’t judging)
@AliciaCarina – This marriage needs more than a 2nd honeymoon! With magic & mussel, the most beautiful woman in the world holds onto her family.
@djliss – Oracle shellfish prophesies of distant beauty in peril before starting a blog and hosting a contest on twitter.

The Entire Opera Canon
@DMOpera – There’s a guy. And there’s a girl. They sing. A lot. She dies
@rolytaylor – Dr Atomic gives ring to consumptive bullfighter with magic bullet stuck in his butterfly whilst being Electra-cuted by Giovanni.
@aspaul – Microsoft Word opera template: (__) falls in love with (__), but (__) tears them apart. (__) & (__) reunite, but then (__) dies.

The Fly
@SamGaleRosen – My teleport will revolutionize science. Check this out! Uh-oh. I seem to have… buzzzzzzzzzzz.

The Flying Dutchman
@mlaffs – Johohoe, anchors aweigh. Senta doesn’t like to play. She dreams of a man to carry her away. Dutchman finds, girl is mine! Oops.
@amissio – Creepy sailor wooes Norwegian lass. She falls for him. Off a cliff.
@CornoDiBassetto – This guy comes back from a long cruise dog tired.
@musicbizkid – Let me get this straight: unfathomable treasure if I betroth my loopy daughter to a ghost? Deal. She’ll meet you by the fjord.

The Four Little Plagues
@djliss – Salieri poisons Mozart; Don Juan faces revenge; the knight begs his dad; revelers ignore the plague. Pushkin for everyone!
A | B | C | D | E | F | G | H | I | J | K | L | M | N | O | P | R | S | T | W | X |Orphans

The Gambler/Queen Of Spades
@idmbassoon – guy loves girl, guy loves cards, guy goes crazy and kills girl’s grandmother. if only they had world poker tour back then.

The Legend of the Invisible City of Kitezh and the Maiden Fevronia
@FAKEfrindley – Saintly forest maid weds prince (cue balalaikas) Tartars disrupt honeymoon (cue Bb min) Ghostly reunion in misty city (cue bells)

The Love For Three Oranges
MouseQueen – Hypochondriac prince searches for women in fruit. Two die of thirst, but everyone else lives happily ever after.

The Midsummer Marriage
Russell#operaplot – Midsummer. Engaged couple. Dad hates. Girl splits. Ancients dance. Dad dies, the couple fries – but lives and gets hitched.

The Mikado
@Mmmusing – Someone must die. Tenor, denied soprano, steps up. Executioner can’t hack it, gives up soprano; skirts death by wooing contralto

The Mines Of Sulphur
@arbakr – Murder was v. well-played/Til actors come plying their trade/Their play is uncanny/Here’s the whammy/Now you ALL have the plague!

The Nose
@debaroos – man is sad b/c nose ran away. nose refuses to return to face: becomes more successful than man. what an ungrateful shostakobitch.

The Old Maid And The Thief
@Mmmusing – Ms Todd & Laetitia r silly/as women can b, as they really/think each has a chance/with Bob & his pants/arousing an aria, STEAL ME.

The Pearlfishers
@nbrockmann – 2 pearl fishers wax nostalgic re: love, friendship; break into song. What? There’s more to this opera? Huh. Could have fooled me

The Peony Pavillion
@djliss – Liu in love with dead dreamgirl Du. Du makes a comeback. It’s like Orfeo, but with a happy ending and in Chinese
@djliss – Liu in love with dead dreamgirl Du. Du makes a comeback. It’s sort of like Orfeo, but happy and in Chinese.

The Queen of Spades
@voxdixit – Suicidal gambling-addict wishes he had Yeletsky’s girl, but cards turn out to be more attractive: Three! Seven! Uh oh…

The Rake’s Progress
@talkingparrot – rake meets muse, rake seeks ruse, rake reeks booze, rake’s feet ooze
@amndw2 – PSA: don’t drink, gamble, visit brothels, or marry bearded ladies. And don’t hang out with the devil. You’ll just end up insane.
@BrianRobinson – Of course, Tom’s crazy/ Post whoring, Baba, ruin;/ But Bedlam — PEACEFUL ?!?
@gaspsiagore – tom rakewell anne trulove nick shadow mother goose baba turk bread machine sellem auctioneer graveyard bedlam epilogue/stravinsky
@marquis66 – Naive tenor gets nicked by dark, mysterious baritone friend, leaves true love for circus freak, card games and Bedlam ensue!
dotdotdottweet – #operaplot Bro bids babe bye-bye. Bigshot befriends bro. Busy brothel! Bearded Baba. Bogus bread, bad bRake! Bedlam. Babe bids bro bye-bye.

A | B | C | D | E | F | G | H | I | J | K | L | M | N | O | P | R | S | T | W | X |Orphans

The Rape Of Lucretia
@idmbassoon – bored prince goes to rome & sings my name only to rape me later. i kill myself in the end. moral of story: jesus is a good guy.
@misswhiplash – Chaste wife raped.Orchids everywhere.Husband comforts,but can’t make better.She stabs herself.Everyone v sad

The Ring Cycle
@NLebrecht – Wagner’s Ring: Greedy, racist bastards go prospecting for gold in the Rhine. Supposedly, they find love.
ann_feeney – Ring Cycle in 140:Stealing=bad, the gods really ARE crazy, marrying your aunt &then taking drugs backfires. Then the world ends
@debaroos – der ring is kinda like da lord of da rings except when is not. dats how i explain to noobs
@MouseQueen – Don’t make promises you can’t keep x 17 hours.
@otterhouse – Rhinemaidens ——————————— (15 hours later) ————————————> Utter destruction
@aspaul – Teutonic gods fight over control of magic ring but lose it to some chicks who live in the river. The gods die of smoke inhalation
@bobopera – Man hires a pair of giants to build a new house, but then won’t honor the contract. Yadda, yadda, yadda. The house burns down
Stephen – #operaplotThere was a young lady called Fricka Who…who…*snore* “Wake up & it’s over.” It’s good, I just wish it were quicka.
@ogiovetti – Everyone says that this ring’s/An important, accursed thing/It passes thru hands/Destroys all the land/And takes 21 hrs to sing.
David – The gold frm adwarf Wotan wins/it makes trouble 4all ofhis kin/Sfried walks thru fire/Brhilde says liar/&reboots th world w/o sin
@renegadeoboe – Alberich steals the Rhinemaidens’ gold. Yadda yadda yadda, they get it back.

The Seagull
@ogiovetti – Playwright’s muse falls for mom’s boy-toy. P’wright kills seagull to prove his love. She calls foul play. P’wright kills himself.

The Telephone
@Frindley – Can you hear me now? [No] Can you hear me now? [No] Damn phone. [Goes out] Can you hear me now? Good. Will you marry me? Yes!

The Tender Land
@Mmmusing – Her HS days done, tender Laurie/is doing a life inventory/when Martin and Top/just happen to stop/and inevitably alter her story

A | B | C | D | E | F | G | H | I | J | K | L | M | N | O | P | R | S | T | W | X |Orphans

@djliss – Smart woman thwarts con men’s magic beans, is kidnapped in retaliation — wait, Joplin wrote an opera?

@nbrockmann – Diva+artiste vs. corrupt police chief. Lust, torture, deception. By the end all are dead, including stagehand manning trampoline
@megoceleste – Know what gets me hot? S&M by proxy. Listen to the torture, baby. Come here. Gah! Choking on blood! Oh, go jump off a building!
@vkline – Artist executed for treason during failed rescue attempt. Thespian lover stabs judge and later jumps from building
@ann_feeney – Mario/Tosca:I haz a u. Scarpia:I can haz Tosca. Tosca:Do not want! Scarpia iz ded. Mario iz ded. Tosca iz ded. lolpera
@debaroos – Dont torture,imprison,or attempt to execute the politicallyengagedpainterboyfriend of clingy opera diva & she might get “stabby”
@nbrockmann – A painter named Cavaradossi/Had aGF both pious&saucy/He was tortured;she cried/He eventually died/4 protecting a guy in his posse
Peter West – Jealous singer kills police chief after blabbing about doomed lover’s co-conspirator which leads to flight off ramparts
@vkline – Artist executed for treason during failed rescue attempt. Thespian lover stabs judge and later jumps from building.
@Foolandtheopera – Holy painter plots to save convict. Hope dashed down well. Cop strikes dirty deal. Backstabbed. Holey artist sends singer flying
@B4AfterWebRadio – jealous singer suspects ringer; betrays Angelotti but won’t be naughty; art her life, uses the knife; tricked by cop, takes a hop
@NGC6544 – Tosca liebt Maler, wird von Scarpia begehrt, tosca bringt scarpia um , scarpia den maler, tosca sich
@gaspsiagore – Tenor paints wrong chick, soprano freaks, baritone drools, tenor tortured, sopr stabs bari, shepherd sings, tenor shot, sop jumps
Paul Bendit – Sshh! Bang! Ouch! OK you win. Aargh! Now your turn to fake it, darling. Bang! Oh Shit! Thump!

A | B | C | D | E | F | G | H | I | J | K | L | M | N | O | P | R | S | T | W | X |Orphans

Tristan und Isolde
@wordsmusic – Love potion…Tristan! Isolde! Isolde! Tristan! Trisolde! Isotan! We’re one! Marc! Melot! Ouch! Schopenhauer! Nirvana!
@reneesalewski – Whether or not you believe their love was augmented & thrust forth two were meant to be together in life & death.
@jgulden -Old king finds beer-goggled fiancee and nephew shagging. Nephew gets shanked, bleeds out after taking band-aid off too early.
Paul Bendit – Aided by failed drug induced suicide pact male chaperone beds charge on way to wedding, but revenge fuelled wound=curtains 4 both

@ogiovetti – Think the LSATs are bad? Three questions wrong with this dame and it’s off with your head. Don’t forget to include your name.
Vio World– Ledige, rachsüchtige Prinzessin Turandot: 3 Rätsel für werbende Prinzen bei Fehler Tod. Auftritt Kalaf – alles anders ;-)
@AskMeAboutOpera – BitchyChineseWoman wants to live 4ever as a virgin, but father is pissed off so she has to kiss&marry the NamelessHornyPrince.
@kriswaldherr – A riddle. A princess. A slave. No one will sleep tonight. Some self sacrifice. The end.

Turn of the Screw
@idmbassoon – take a summer job in the country watching 2 nice kids? great! wait…you didn’t mention the crazy ghosts.
D. Kim – Prudish lady moves into country estate. Governess for two creepy kids. Add two sexy ghosts. One big happy family. NOT.
@primalamusica – It’s just like The Sound of Music, but with ghosts & Freudian angst instead of schmaltz & Nazis. And the kids are even creepier
@amndw2 – Kids sing creepy rhymes. Ghosts sing creepy invitations. Yeats is alluded to. Musical duel (governess vs. ghost) kills kid. Malo!

A | B | C | D | E | F | G | H | I | J | K | L | M | N | O | P | R | S | T | W | X |Orphans

@gaspsiagore – Goethe in French! Love – rejected – letters – Christmas – suicide – tenor sings for 15 mins + after shooting himself in the head
@pattyoboe – I must marry who mom said/Why can’t you love me instead?/I’ll shoot myself with your husband’s gun/Kiss/Die/Opera done

@B4AfterWebRadio – Soldier mad. Doctor a cad. Girl plays with fire-will soon expire. Idiot keeps his head. Moon is red. Soldier in lake-won’t awake.
@thomas_rhodes – #operaplot Soldier I’ have a shaveThough yr mad/4the Doc yr braveMarie makes u sadDrummer makes u raveMaries life u hadDrink deep a wave

@rrollett – 2 brothers, 2 sisters, a fiancée, & a tree; a tangled web indeed. Will Romilda renege? Or Serse cease? All’s well that ends well
@BrianRobison – #operaplot After much intrigue, Serse reconciles with Amastre, and Arsamene and Romilda wed; all’s well that… Wait! What about the tree?!?
@primalamusica – Treehugger jilts transvestite & chases brother’s girl. Girl’s sister helps: she wants the brother. Springer: The Opera? Not yet

A | B | C | D | E | F | G | H | I | J | K | L | M | N | O | P | R | S | T | W | X |Orphans


  1. @AskMeAboutOpera – Luciano loves Teresa but she cheats on him with Dwayne. Luciano stabs them. Juan and Kenn are shocked.

    You seem to have correctly ID’d this as “Il Tabarro,” except the name of the opera doesn’t appear in the list above. I spent some time trying to figure out how (Regietheater?) this could be “Il Barbiere di Siviglia,” which is how it appears to be listed now. (I only figured out the “Tabarro” connection by googling those names.)

  2. Bryan

    The following should be Thais, not Manon Lescaut:

    bryan – The mirror must have made her look fat – why else would she leave her glamorous lifestyle to starve to death in the desert?

  3. Correction:

    @arbakr The 30yrs war was a bitch/They hold out but here’s a hitch/They argue abt war/What’s fighting for?/And figure it out in a stitch

    Should be Strauss’ Friedenstag, not War and Peace.


  4. Stan

    Hi Miss Mussel!

    These two of my entries didn’t make it onto the list (Otello and Dialogues of the Carmelites, respectively)

    #haiku #operaplot no matter how brave / Shakespeare’s Moor will always be / tricked into murder 5:04 PM Apr 27th from web

    #operaplot from life of leisure to vow of poverty to vow of martyrdom to life on the lam to headless in only three and a half hours.3:56 PM Apr 27th from web

    Also, My #haiku entry from “dialogues” got muddled with someone else’s. I originally read thusly:

    @s_haskins when eighteen voices / reduced to solo, then none / the guillotine fell

    Thanks for doing this!
    Stan (@s_haskins)

  5. blush* eehhh *sticks his finger in the air* “miss…” I Pagliacci and the clowns are not Thomas but mine…
    (and here’s an apple)
    Rolf @otterhouse

  6. AskMeAboutOpera

    Re: Michael – My entry with luciano&teresaetc is still I PAGLIACCI!!! :) But I suppose it takes time to correct and replace all these plots :) so let’s just wait :) Thanks.

  7. debaroos

    I also made a tweet, but I’ll correct it here as well:
    “jailer leaves door ajar/inmate slips away/lost in maze/follows the light/oopsies: runs into tree/WTF I thought I was free” –> This is IL PRIGIONIERO, not Tosca. Thanks!

  8. Per my direct-message earlier today, here’s my summary of Ligeti’s *Le Grand Macabre*, lost in transit from the orphanage:

    @BrianRobison Life’s Grand,* death Macabre: Fate, or fake? *If offstage orgasm lasts longer than the apocalypse, consult your metaphysician.

    Many thanks,


  9. thomas_rhodes

    the clowns one is not mine and my Wozzeck is still not posted in the complete list. It begins with “Soldier I’ have a shave”

  10. thomas_rhodes

    My Porgy and Bess is still not added. I wrote you about these in the last edits.


  11. Georgia Raysman

    Have sent this in a few times but I guess I just can’t get it right:

    Headline: Debutante becomes a nun, then martyr.

  12. Stan

    Just found one more- This one: (Rigoletto)

    @bigmurray – vengeance is costly / hero wills for dead rival / finds his dying child

    was originally posted by me. @bigmurray retweeted it.

    Thanks again,

  13. thomas_rhodes

    These are the ones that were missing from this list. I think the Porgy and Bess is one of the orphans.

    thomas_rhodes – #operaplot Da 1ce w/a crip on cat row/Dat loved a girl addicted to blow/Big storm come/Crown be done/N he walk @ da end of da show
    -Porgy and Bess

    thomas_rhodes – #operaplot Soldier I’ have a shaveThough yr mad/4the Doc yr braveMarie makes u sadDrummer makes u raveMaries life u hadDrink deep a wave

  14. HE Elsom

    @renegadeoboe – Alberich steals the Rhinemaidens’ gold. Yadda yadda yadda, they get it back.

    Not mine, but “they get it back” makes this the whole Ring, not just Rheingold. Homage to Anna Russell.

  15. RonniReich

    Hi! I think one of mine is missing —

    @RonniReich – He loves her! She laughs. He’s leaving. She cries! A little wine, they work it out.

    (L’Elisir d’amore)


  16. HE Elsom

    Joan of Arc: Maid of Orleans
    @kriswaldherr – Have doubts about vocation, but give it up to Madame la Guillotine anyway.

    Isn’t this Dialogues of the Carmelites? Joan of Arc was burned at the stake ‘cos the guillotine hadn’t been invented.

  17. HE Elsom

    @tbs27 – Popolo restless.Amelia is Maria, Andrea is really Fiesco. It’s 25 yrs later? Is that Paolo or Pietro? Nevermind, enjoy the music.

    Filed under Turandot, but should be Simon Boccanegra.

  18. Bob

    Sorry, here’s one for “La Calisto” that got left off:

    @SuperGreek – Boy meets girl, boy morphs into girl to get girl, Boys wife gets mad & turns girl into bear, Boy feels bad & turns girl into star

  19. tbs27

    Please delete:
    I Vespri Siciliani
    @tbs27 – Popolo restless.Amelia is Maria, Andrea is really Fiesco. It’s 25 yrs later? Is that Paolo or Pietro? Nevermind, enjoy the music. #operaplot

    It’s listed again (correctly) under Simon Boccanegra.


  20. Miss Mussel:

    Is there a reason why you entered my two previously missed entries (one for _Das Rheingold_, and one for _Parsifal_) under the name of “Sounds and Fury” instead of the more proper, “A.C. Douglas”?


    • Miss Mussel

      There is in fact: I am rather absentminded and while giving you a link to your site, forgot to change the pattern from the one that works for Twitter links.

  21. Hey, one thought for next time. If you did this phase as a spreadsheet on Google Docs or a similar social documnent share (like a wiki or somesuch) then you could just set up the column headings (e.g. tweet_author, opera_composer, opera_title, tweet_url) and then everyone could fill in their own #operaplot tweets, and fill in other peoples, and correct any mistakes in categorisation themselves.

    • Miss Mussel

      That’s an idea for sure. There has to be a way to automate the harvesting of tweets directly from the twitter feed into Excel or even Google Docs, I just didn’t it before the contest started.

      I’ll definitely look into sorting something better out for next time. There were too many missing tweets and this method of correction was a nightmare for everyone.

  22. THE EGYPTIAN HELEN – early version, deleted from my Twitter but not Twitter stream, so should go. Thanks Miss Mussel!

    @AliciaCarina – Marriage vs. “reality” & 1 great aria. #operaplot: bivalve reassures witch re: seagod, helps stop murder of beauty by beast. All reconcile.

    • Miss Mussel

      You’re welcome! It turned out be to a far larger task than I originally thought but I think it’s done now. Worth it to have everything in one place.

  23. frindley

    Tiny title amendment: it’s “Prima la musica e poi le parole” (or just Prima la musica…) rather than “La Prima Musica”

    Impressive work wrangling all these entries into order!

  24. Miss Mussel

    Hello Everyone,

    Bad news…..I’m afraid I did actually break WordPress for this post. It’s over 10,000 words and has exceeded the PHP memory available on my shared hosting account.

    In order to further edit this post or indeed even to split it into two smaller ones, I would have to upgrade to my own server, which is more than I can afford as well as unnecessary for every other post except this one.

    So, long story short: everything will have to stay as is I’m afraid.

    Apologies to those whose entries are still not correct. We’ll come up with a better system for next time.

    Update 7th May: Deleting a few non-essential plugins has cleared up the required memory, so I can make these edits. Yay!

  25. Ava

    it’s probably too late for this now, but mine under Bluebeard’s Castle:
    @txavacado – The ultimate bridezilla asks the one question she shouldn’t, resulting in a wedding night that’s strictly for the birds.

    is actually for Lohengrin. The whole bird thing…

    and all 4 of my entries (cosi, die zauberflote, l’elisir, and above) have my handle misspelled — should be @txavocado. it’s no biggie, since I keep my updates private anyway. Thanks for doing this; it was fun!

    • Miss Mussel

      Ah, the misspelling would explain why all the links are broken. Sorry about that!

      I’m afraid it is too late to alter the Lohengrin/Bluebeard one, the entries have been sent off already.

      I’ll find a better system for next time, so there are less mistakes.

      Thanks for participating. I’m glad you enjoyed it.

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