Operaplot Orphans
Orphans – help rescue these in the comments. Every operaplot, not matter how innane deserves a home.
To keep things straight, please copy the whole tweet including the author and then add the title.
Also, if someone else has already chimed in with the correct answer, please don’t answer again. It’s not that Miss Mussel doesn’t want to hear your two cents, it’s just that the admin becomes more difficult when the volume of responses increases.
Thanks!
@amndw2 – I love him! But he won’t marry me. I hate him! If you love me, go kill him! Wait, he’ll marry me after all? Aargh! Come back!
@wvclassical – mad scenes and mix-ups w/ some wacky Puritans. for once, the simple confusion is cleared up, lovers end up happy, and no one dies
@catmacaulay – Damn she’s hot. Damn he’s a nice guy. Damn she’s hot. Sorry dude. Damn, he’s a nice guy.
asthiggins – Building deal gone sour – nymphs in an uproar – mutterings from below!
@bibliotechick – Librarian suffers severe caffeine overdose following banda-cut collision in opera, escapes to Colorado, meets love of her life
thepilatesbiz on 
Aforpeace on 
Yvonne on 
@Frindley – Can you hear me now? [No] Can you hear me now? [No] Damn phone. [Goes out] Can you hear me now? Good. Will you marry me? Yes!
The Telephone, Gian Carlo Menotti
Are you asking what operas these are? Sorry to be such an idiot. I’ll blame “my” virus. :-)
Anyhoo … if so … @Mmmusing – Her HS days done, tender Laurie/is doing a life inventory/when Martin and Top/just happen to stop/and inevitably alter her story
isn’t that The Tender Land?
Thought maybe Alex J – one two three four five six seven eight is Einstein on the Beach.
But maybe that’s not what you’re asking …
@prolagus – You siri meido, Americans are gentorumen, un beru di he wiru come bakku and stay wizu me foreba. Dorore? Dorore? …Dorore!
Guessing Madama Butterfly
Mine’s (dumbledad’s) Akhnaten, specifically the English National Opera’s 1985 production. I slightly regretted the “gorgeous tits” part of that #operaplot as I’d forgotten that my tweets automagically become my facebook status so that one caused consternation amongst my current and past colleagues!
@SimonThomas41 – Storms batter coast, while village folk dance and scowl, fisherman neglects charge and boat sinks
Peter Grimes
>>> @SimonThomas41 – Storms batter coast, while village folk dance and scowl, fisherman neglects charge and boat sinks <<< sounds like Peter Grimes
Mine: @megoceleste – Tries, damn-dad shows up, has to kill. Tries, damn-ex shows up, has to run. Tries, damn-she screams, party’s over. Tries-damned!
Don Giovanni
>>> @rrollet – Boy meets girl; love @ first sight. She spurns giant flautist. Reed rage leads to tragedy. She turns boy into fountain. Happy we? <<< is Acis and Galatea
@nbrockmann – Life is short-so is this opera. Rich guy <3 poor gal but weds another-at the wedding, she yells @ him, dies. Very Jerry Springer.
That’s “La Vida Breve.”
Also, may I most respectfully note that I am “nbrockmann” with two N’s at the end. (They were Buy One, Get One Free when I was born, so I have two.)
The J isn’t my last initial, but rather is the first letter of my Salome plot.
Salome:
J:@#$% H:WANT C B00B13S! S:WANT PRESENTS! H:kk, TITS OR GTFO S:(.)(.) H:ZOMG B00B13S!! S:J-Plate pls H:kk S:ZOMG AM BLOODY & DEAD
Patty is correct about my Einstein on the Beach.
Is >>> @eflamm – Tourist rolls, tourist flies, tourist swims, tourist dies. <<< Britten’s “Death in Venice”?
@jasonweinberger – (hm hm hm hmmm hm hm hmmm hm hm hmmm hmmm hm.) looks like William Tell
@rtbaritone – Innocents lost. Modern Maria courageously stands by accused. Post-confession, she sings spiritual out of habit after he flatlines
I think this is Dead Man Walking.
talkingparrot – circa 50 bc. police versus hippies. all ends in tears
Norma
talkingparrot – =|:-) — + ;-) = =|:-) <3 :-) + :’-|
Der Rosenkavalier
talkingparrot – Cross-dressing swingers’ party in the Bay of Naples: sex, drugs and baroque and roll.
Partenope
@bobopera – (N+O), (N+P), (O2+P), (D+O2), (-S), (O+O2+D)-P, N-(O+O2+D) = N+P
L’Incoronazione di Poppea
@debaroos – 300 yr old lady is tired of life. Realizes it’s better to just kick the bucket. — Vec Makcropoulous
@SuperGreek – Boy meets girl, boy morphs into girl to get girl, Boys wife gets mad & turns girl into bear, Boy feels bad & turns girl into star — La Calisto (“boy” may be a touch misleady wrt Jupiter)
@BrianRobinson – Life’s Grand,* death Macabre: Fate, or fake? *If offstage orgasm lasts longer than the apocalypse, consult your metaphysician. — Le Grand Macabre
@dotdottweet – Arsenal! Hooligan fan beats up geezer, shoots into wrong goal (wink, wink!). Sorry, Mum. Man is dis-United. — Greek
@misswhiplash – Brat-king sings to tree and builds LONG bridge.Complex manouvres with girls.All works out ok in the end (except for bridge) — Serse
@jgulden -Black dude chokes white girl in bed — Otello
@max579- Assassination plot gains momentum when the King has a rendezvous with his best friend’s wife. — Un Ballo in Machero
@talkingparrot – Cross-dressing swingers’ party in the Bay of Naples: sex, drugs and baroque and roll. — Partenope?, or just about any Neopolitan sex comedy
@FAKEfrindley – Ki-kiri-kuku! Silly recumbent king finds that relying on avian warning system for border control costs him sons, bride and life — Le Coq d’Or
Marilyn – Father makes classic mistake of offering to sacrifice first person he sees to win favor with the gods. BIG mistake! — Idomeneo
@greerbee – Jealous wife vows revenge against hubby’s gf by tricks narcissistic gf into demanding what she can’t have. Everyone gets drunk — Semele (Eccles’ version — Handel’s isn’t an opera)
Here are mine:
“Jilted lover disguises herself as the gardener to get back at her newly-engaged ex. It’s a mad mad mad mad world.” = Mozart’s La Finta Giardiniera.
“Hey, Z, I’m mad for this chick who’s spoken for. Help me out? “No.” “I’ll kill ‘em both.” “No, wait, I’ll help.” “Cheers mate.”" = Handel’s Orlando
“Dame wears white to set a wayward steward right. Statue helps amnesiac reclaim his land, memory and veiled gal in hand.” = Boïeldieu’s La Dame Blanche
Also….
@SimonThomas41 – Poet pines while proles triumph, posh lady resists opportunistic lust but hero still gets the chop = Giordano’s Andrea Chenier
@daezer – Words! Music! Words! Music! (Horse! Mule! Tradition!) Countess sleepy. = Strauss’s Capriccio
@misswhiplash – Brat-king sings to tree and builds LONG bridge.Complex manouvres with girls.All works out ok in the end (except for bridge) = Handel’s Xerxes
@jgulden -Black dude chokes white girl in bed = Verdi’s Otello
@vkline – Jealous husband stabs wife after neighborhood troublemaker plants incriminating evidence on local boy toy. = Verdi’s Otello
@max579- Assassination plot gains momentum when the King has a rendezvous with his best friend’s wife. = Verdi’s Un Ballo in Maschera
Paul Bendit – Sshh! Bang! Ouch! OK you win. Aargh! Now your turn to fake it, darling. Bang! Oh Shit! Thump! = Puccini’s Tosca?
Alex J – one two three four five six seven eight = Glass’ Einsten on the Beach
@B4AfterWebRadio – Soldiers seek intruder. Girl sees ghost, exchanges rings with lover, marries another, cursed by lover. She’s toast. = Donizetti’s Lucia di Lammermoor?
@greerbee – Jealous wife vows revenge against hubby’s gf by tricks narcissistic gf into demanding what she can’t have. Everyone gets drunk = Handel’s Semele
@frindley – Druggist’s drudge woos druggist’s daughter. Foppish foe offers Turkish bribe. False Turks arrive… Ok, who’s been reading Molière?
Der Apotheker by Haydn
The other frindley two orphans have been identified by others:
“Can you hear me now…” The Telephone by Menotti (although that doesn’t seem to be in the orphan list, only in the comments), and
“Silly recumbent king” The Golden Cockerel by Rimsky-Korsakov.
@BrianRobison – Life’s Grand,* death Macabre: Fate, or fake? *If offstage orgasm lasts longer than the apocalypse, consult your metaphysician.
György Ligeti, Le Grand Macabre
@jimmyjimjoes – Man meets crying girl beside a well, marries her & takes her home. “My brother’s gonna die when he sees you.”
Pelléas et Mélisande
Paul Bendit – Aided by failed drug induced suicide pact male chaperone beds charge on way to wedding, but revenge fuelled wound=curtains 4 both
Tristan und Isolde
asthiggins – Building deal gone sour – nymphs in an uproar – mutterings from below!
…Das Rheingold?
@vkline – Jealous husband stabs wife after neighborhood troublemaker plants incriminating evidence on local boy toy.
…Pagliacci?
@jimmyjimjoes – Man meets crying girl beside a well, marries her & takes her home. “My brother’s gonna die when he sees you.”
…Pelleas et Melisande
@talkingparrot – Cross-dressing swingers’ party in the Bay of Naples: sex, drugs and baroque and roll.
…Cosi fan tutte
David – #operaplot1-Soprano2-Tenor3-Baritone4-Mezzo.1loves2mistakesfor3.4killsbaby.2saves1from3.3captures4,2.1marries3tosave2.1kills1.3kills2.4wins
…Il Trovatore
Alex J:@#$% H:WANT C B00B13S! S:WANT PRESENTS! H:kk, TITS OR GTFO S:(.)(.) H:ZOMG B00B13S!! S:J-Plate pls H:kk S:ZOMG AM BLOODY & DEAD
…Salome
@eflamm – Tourist rolls, tourist flies, tourist swims, tourist dies.
Is this Death of Klinghoffer?
@talkingparrot – =|:-) — + ;-) = =|:-) <3 :-) + :’-|
Hmmm…Don Carlo(s)? Boris Godunov? Appomattox?
@SuperGreek – Boy meets girl, boy morphs into girl to get girl, Boys wife gets mad & turns girl into bear, Boy feels bad & turns girl into star
-Cavalli’s La Calisto
@jasonweinberger – (hm hm hm hmmm hm hm hmmm hm hm hmmm hmmm hm.) – MADAMA BUTTERFLY?
@jgulden – Boy meets girl. Boy shags girl. Girl’s hubby not amused. Boy’s goddess half-sister throws boy’s fight w/ hubby. Shit hits fans
Die Walküre
B4AfterWebRadio – Soldiers seek intruder. Girl sees ghost, exchanges rings with lover, marries another, cursed by lover. She’s toast.
Lucia di Lammermoor
Paul Bendit – Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade without the jokes.
I assumed this was Parsifal, although I might be mistaken.
And yes, this is Copland’s “The Tender Land.”
@Mmmusing – Her HS days done, tender Laurie/is doing a life inventory/when Martin and Top/just happen to stop/and inevitably alter her story
@SimonThomas41 – Poet pines while proles triumph, posh lady resists opportunistic lust but hero still gets the chop
Andrea Chenier?
@bobopera – Man hires a pair of giants to build a new house, but then won’t honor the contract. Yadda, yadda, yadda. The house burns down.
The whole Ring Cycle
I also posted one for I due Foscari (the one about the doge whose last name isn’t Boccanegra), but that one somehow disappeared. No biggie…
If you don’t mind could you please post the missing ones at http://theomniscientmussel.com/2009/05/operaplot-entries-round-2. That would be a huge help.
@nbrockmann Boy+girl: lovers *&* longlost siblings-like no one saw THAT coming. Valkyrie saves girl, gets fired. Boy is killed; so is wabbit.
That’s Die Walküre.
I had entries for Don Giovanni (Kissed the girls and made them cry), Dr Atomic (We have to test this bomb) and the Ring (There was a young lady named Fricka) and they all seem to be missing. Did I fail to do something?
No, you didn’t fail at anything. All the entries were hand compiled this time by two different people, so omissions with this volume of entries were inevitable. It seemed more efficient to post what we had and let people fill in the blanks than try to match everything.
Just post your entries on here and I’ll add them. http://theomniscientmussel.com/2009/05/operaplot-entries-round-2
@MouseQueenPitiful dwarf, arrogant youth, resigned senior, bored dragon, insightful bird, and disoriented woman interact in tone poem.
Siegfried!
RHEINGOLD
A.C. Douglas – Three flirts, a lovesick dwarf, two big dummies & a double-dealing control freak learn it’s not nice to fool with Mother Nature.
@daezer -3 watery tarts refuse gnome/&the Gods cannot pay 4 their home/they steal some gold/&Freia gets sold/back 2 wotan&Valhalla shalom
WALKÃœRE
@kriswaldherr Brotherly-sisterly love. But, ah, he is the spring. Girl warrior understands love from their incestuous example.
SIEGFRIED
@daezer – A young man who didn’t no fear/made a sword&then used it 2shear/his dad&a dragon/&after a flagon/his fear appeared ina brassiere
@nbrockmannBoy+girl: lovers *&* longlost siblings-like no one saw THAT coming. Valkyrie saves girl, gets fired. Boy is killed; so is wabbit.
Bryan – cocky lad forges sword, kills dragon, and jumps through fire, only to marry his breastplate-wearing and “hojoto”-shrieking aunt
@MouseQueenPitiful dwarf, arrogant youth, resigned senior, bored dragon, insightful bird, and disoriented woman interact in tone poem.
GÖTTERDÄMMERUNG
Adam – Also sprach Brünnhilde: “Die Götter sind tot! Die Götter bleiben tot! Und ich habe sie getötet.”
@daezer – snip-bye-sail-welcome2Gibich/Gutrune’s love juice bewitches/Hagen calls mob/Siegfried shishkabob/ the world Brunnhilde unstitches
RING (entire)
@aspaulTeutonic gods fight over control of magic ring but lose it to some chicks who live in the river. The gods die of smoke inhalation
@bobopera – Man hires a pair of giants to build a new house, but then won’t honor the contract. Yadda, yadda, yadda. The house burns down
TRISTAN UND ISOLDE
@jgulden -Old king finds beer-goggled fiancee and nephew shagging. Nephew gets shanked, bleeds out after taking band-aid off too early.
Thanks for this. My Wagner knowledge is appalling. This saved me a lot of looking up.
ionarts Rich woman makes her notorious family problems worse by accidentally poisoning her long-lost son. Twice.
It’s “Lucrezia Borgia.”
i’m @idmbassoon my two that are up there are 1) queen of spades and 2) dido and aeneas. (i fail at opera)
@musicbizkid – Let me get this straight: unfathomable treasure if I betroth my loopy daughter to a ghost? Deal. She’ll meet you by the fjord. [The Flying Dutchman]
@musicbizkid – Poor maiden falls 4 no-good man? Pity her not: 2 aces in sock beat 1 up the sleeve. Damsel on horseback saves Dick, day. <3, FTW [Girl of the Golden West] (that last bit is “love, for the win,” in case the internet lingo’s shaky)
@musicbizkid – A cool desert nite brings/men with boxes of valuable things/mom tries 2 steal/the cripple is healed/& Jerusalem-bound w the kings [Amahl and the Night Visitors]
Who knew I’d borne so many orphans. As follows:
@primalamusica – 19yo SWF seeks Croat 4 marriage of love/convenience. No ties except 1 v. confused sister. R U my Mr Right? Photo on request. — ARABELLA
@primalamusica – Mother-in-law from hell drives her son’s frustrated young wife into the arms of another, into madness and into the Volga. — KAT’A KABANOVA
@primalamusica – PTSD victim? Shampoo ad? Bluebeard’s ex? Or maybe she’s just not that into you. Ask your brother. — PELLEAS ET MELISANDE
@primalamusica – Treehugger jilts transvestite & chases brother’s girl. Girl’s sister helps: she wants the brother. Springer: The Opera? Not yet. — XERXES
@thomas_rhodes – Da 1ce w/a crip on cat row/Dat loved a girl addicted to blow/Big storm come/Crown be done/N he walk @ da end of da show
-Porgy and Bess
Also, I did not see my Wosseck on the completed list. It begins “Soldier Ill have a shave”
I went and found the operaplot that was missing from both lists.
#operaplot Soldier I’ have a shaveThough yr mad/4the Doc yr braveMarie makes u sadDrummer makes u raveMaries life u hadDrink deep a wave
-Wozzeck
@thomasrmiller Four saints, three acts.
Er, surely this is Virgil Thomson/Gertrude Stein’s Four Saints in Three Acts
@jasonweinberger – (hm hm hm hmmm hm hm hmmm hm hm hmmm hmmm hm.)
I think this is Papageno’s humming aria.
@musicbizkid – A cool desert nite brings/men with boxes of valuable things/mom tries 2 steal/the cripple is healed/& Jerusalem-bound w the kings
Menotti – Amahl and the Night Visitors
@idmbassoon – land on beach fall in <3 w queen/leaving so soon what does it mean/go found rome/this isn’t his home/well i’ll just kill myself
Purcell – Dido and Aneas
PORGY AND BESS: @thomas_rhodes – Da 1ce w/a crip on cat row/Dat loved a girl addicted to blow/Big storm come/Crown be done/N he walk @ da end of da show
LA FANCIULLA DEL WEST: @otterhouse – Dick and Min, went up the hill, to have a lot of fun, Jack wanted her back, Min whacked that Jack, will she have Dickies son
FOUR SAINTS IN THREE ACTS: @thomasrmiller Four saints, three acts.
RIGOLETTO: @gaspsiagore – Il duca s’amuse. Il gobbo amused yet cursed. Mantuan curse means business, attracts assassin. Love, abduction, spying, sacrifice.
THE MINES OF SULPHUR: @arbakr – Murder was v. well-played/Til actors come plying their trade/Their play is uncanny/Here’s the whammy/Now you ALL have the plague!
PELLEAS ET MELISANDE: @primalamusica – PTSD victim? Shampoo ad? Bluebeard’s ex? Or maybe she’s just not that into you. Ask your brother.
AMAHL AND THE NIGHT VISITORS: @musicbizkid – A cool desert nite brings/men with boxes of valuable things/mom tries 2 steal/the cripple is healed/& Jerusalem-bound w the kings
SALOME: @djliss – Kiss me, John, she implored. And leaning over, he pressed his lips warmly to hers in fervent osculation………..
@primalamusica – 19yo SWF seeks Croat 4 marriage of love/convenience. No ties except 1 v. confused sister. R U my Mr Right? Photo on request. — Arabella
@thomas_rhodes – Da 1ce w/a crip on cat row/Dat loved a girl addicted to blow/Big storm come/Crown be done/N he walk @ da end of da show — Porgy and Bess
@otterhouse – Dick and Min, went up the hill, to have a lot of fun, Jack wanted her back, Min whacked that Jack, will she have Dickies son? — La Fancilla del West
@dumbledad – Genevra loves and dad approves? Too happy for an #operaplot so much ado about nothing brings sadness and death before virtue triumphs again — Ariodante/Ginevra Principessa di Scozia
@idmbassoon – guy loves girl, guy loves cards, guy goes crazy and kills girl’s grandmother. if only they had world poker tour back then. — The Gambler (not Pique Dame; the grandmother is in the Dostoevsky story, no idea which composer thought)
@gaspsiagore – Il duca s’amuse. Il gobbo amused yet cursed. Mantuan curse means business, attracts assassin. Love, abduction, spying, sacrifice. — Rigoletto
@primalamusica – Mother-in-law from hell drives her son’s frustrated young wife into the arms of another, into madness and into the Volga — Katya Kabanova
@arbakr – Murder was v. well-played/Til actors come plying their trade/Their play is uncanny/Here’s the whammy/Now you ALL have the plague! — The Mines of Sulphur
@arbakr – She’s in love with an older het-man/Who can’t let go of his plan/He beheads her dad/Driving her mad/And back she goes to her clan — Mazeppa
@musicbizkid – Poor maiden falls 4 no-good man? Pity her not: 2 aces in sock beat 1 up the sleeve. Damsel on horseback saves Dick, day. <3, FTW — Fancillua again
@musicbizkid – A cool desert nite brings/men with boxes of valuable things/mom tries 2 steal/the cripple is healed/& Jerusalem-bound w the kings — Amahl and the Night Visitors
@idmbassoon – land on beach fall in <3 w queen/leaving so soon what does it mean/go found rome/this isn’t his home/well i’ll just kill myself — Dido and Aeneas
bryan – Songwriter laments in major key, fails to follow simple instructions, and succumbs to until-recently-dead wife’s nagging. — Orfeo/Ophee (Gluck — the clue is the major key lament, Che faro)