#Operaplot 2010 Entries A-Cz

A | B | C | D-Die Zauberflöte | Don-Fz | G-L | La | Lb-Qz | R-Tg | The | Thf-Z | Orphans

A Christmas Carol
Audience Dev Spec – A curmudgeon is he & ghosts of three: past, present & future. His heart aches & he wakes to 2nd chances Christmas morning

A Dog’s Heart (not yet premeired)
Busy Needles – Crazy Russian canine causes chaos after getting rogue organs in dodgy transplant op.
David Little – Family of 5 struggles agnst war/famine. Enter beggar in dog costume. Dad concludes he’s really a dog. They have lunch
Penumbral – Franken-tail of daffy dr misunderstanding dogs want of balls & a pit, yew (a tree). Dog becomes donor, mayhem, til reversed. End.

A Flowering Tree
Renegade Oboe – K: Look I’m a tree! P: Oh that’s hot. But weird. Marry me? S: Too bad you’re a freak now P: I’ll die without you weird tree thing
amndw2 – Giddy king falls for brother’s fiancee at first sight. Considering he’s just serenaded a tree, this seems positively normal.

A Midsummer Night’s Dream (Britten – )
Maura Lafferty – Monarchs fight, Rude Mechanicals rehearse by night, lovers get lost, confused and duel over height. Magic makes all things right.
Boosey & Hawkes – Fairy domestic leads to ‘wife swap’ in magical wood. Fairy Queen hits (on) rock Bottom. All ends well due to power of plants.
Pattyoboe – Fall in love with an ass? Dream on.
Frindley – Indian boys flit th’rough phrygian brier, lovers wander til they tire; fairy tricks, mechanical ass; triple wedding & a bergamask

Frindley – Boys flit thru Phrygian scales & brier, lovers wander til they tire; fairy tricks, mechanical ass; triple wedding & a bergamask
Renegade Oboe – Rustics simplistic, lovers romantic. Fairies ethereal, “Come! A Roundel!” Tytania is quelled, all shall be well.

A Quiet Place/Trouble In Tahiti (Bernstein – )
P Schleuse – It’s “Mad Men,” with a dash of Island Magic. Sequel to follow.
Jose S Piano – Dinah: Yes? Sam: No. (doo-wah) Dinah: No? Sam: Yes. (doo-wah) Sam: Yes! Dinah: No! (doo-wah) Dinah: No. Sam: No. Both: (sigh)
Danny Liss – Blowing off his play for handball and a movie? Lenny just wants to be loved, mom and dad, Lenny just wants to be loved.

Acis & Galatea
Dumbledad – ♀ ♥ shepherd. Shepherd ♥ ♀. Giant ♥ cherry lipped ♀. Giant kills shepherd. ♀ now = divinity who turns dead shepherd into fountain

Adrianna Lecouvreur
David Karlin – So let me get this right, Prince. The murder weapon is… a knife? a gun? poison? A bunch of *what*, Prince?

After Life
Henri Drost – Which one memory would you choose to take to eternity?

Agrippina
Music Biz Kid – Mom names son (Nero) emperor, Dad (emperor) returns w/new heir (Otho), tries 2 pawn courtesan off on N, O. Awkward holidays ensue

Aknaten
AMM Music – He becomes King – mostly in A minor – founder of monotheistic religion – kingdom in ruins – Where are all the violins?!

Angels In America (Eotvos -)
Harry Fiddler – Like the play and the film but with music.

Aida (Verdi -)
John Pitcher – Love, victory, horses, elephants, capture, betrayal, love. Did that tomb door just slam shut behind me?
Pattyoboe – When a girl can’t get the guy she wants she takes care of him in a pyramid scheme. At least he doesn’t die lonely.
Hariclea – slave trapped between exhero and jealous princess gets squashed by stone. Nile to wash the mess away
EG Meijer – Slave girl seduces enemy hero to end up gasping for air.
Nicole Brockmann – 2 Egyptians & Ethiopian trapped in tragic love pyramid. Heroes of show: tenor, elephant wrangler. Soprano wrangler also useful.

Gerrit Theule – Verdi: Hey, I’ve a great idea for my next work with a twist that they’ll never see coming: Africans get to be slaves in this one!
Danny Liss – 20-minute triumphal march with elephants? This is supposed to be #operaplot, not #circusplot!

Albert Herring (Britten – )
Sam DeWese – No one likes me; even children make fun. I know, I’ll get wasted and convince the blowhards I’m normal! Take THAT, Mum!
Third Lady – albert, now u r may king i ♥ u! u r almost as cute as #justinbieber!!!
Pattyoboe – No virgin village this, but there’s one fish in the sea who is. Will it be the death of him? Naw. Grab the money & run for fun!
Boosey & Hawekes – Shop boy tied to mother appointed May King. Drinks too much ‘lemonade’, rebels & snubs stuffy society! Huzzah!
Imani Moseley – sid & nancy aren’t punks but they sure start a riot! albert, mom always said not to drink the kool-(lemon)-aid!
MMMusing – “Albert ruminates, drinks rumonade, becomes runaway, runs Mum away.”

Amahl & The Night Visitors (Menotti – )
MusicBizKid – A cool desert nite brings/men with boxes of valuable things/mom tries 2 steal/the cripple is healed/& Jerusalem-bound w the kings

Andrea Chenier
Music Biz Kind – Idealistic poets take note: apparently “I wish to end economic injustice” sounds a lot like “just go ahead and kill me” in french
Irene Vartanoff” – Decadent aristos crush idealist poet/ Romantic rival revolutionary, his own ideals crushed, lets mob kill poet.

Anna Nicole Smith (not yet written)
Imani Moseley – sid & nancy aren’t punks but they sure start a riot! albert, mom always said not to drink the kool-(lemon)-aid!

Anna Karenina
Opera San Jose – MWF seeks hot SWM for passionate destructive relationship. Likes: reading, horses, Italy. Dislikes: politics, husband, trains.
Pattyoboe – Leaving your husband & child isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. In the end she finally gets on track.
Irene Vartanoff -She: unhappily wed; unhappily adulterous; no divorce; no way out? Train engineer: nightmares, suspension, & a pee test.
Maura Lafferty– Each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way. The Russians really know how to spoil a good day.

Arabella (R.Strauss – )
lattavanti – Sorry, Bella, Matt and I didn’t believe the girl in pants was actually a girl. Now he knows who he slept with. Got some water?
Prima la Musica – Big sis gets Mr Right. Little sis gets Mr RightWellIThoughtYouWereABoyButSinceYou’reAGirlAndYourSister’sTakenIGuessYou’llDo
lattavanti – Sorry, Bella, Matt and I didn’t believe the girl in pants was actually a girl. Now he knows who he slept with. Got some water?

Ariadne auf Naxos (R.Strauss – )
Dr Geoduck – He wanted a classical tragedy. The patron wanted a Harlequin romance. So why not both?
Sam Neuman – You know on Glee when they did a mashup of The Thong Song and I Could Have Danced All Night? It’s that, but highbrow and German.
Alejoplay – comedia troupe invades. composer freaks. dumped princess runs off with god.
P Schleuse – Zerbinetta’s always plucky; Ariadne’s not so lucky. Though she does little but lament, her happy ending’s heaven-sent.

Arianna
P Schleuse – Though Arianna’s name’s alive, the opera’s score does not survive. There’s just one scene we have today: it’s Lasciatemi morire.

Armide
Chicken Feet 2003 – She has a tenor for every day of the week but once a knight is enough
Paul JZ – My dazzling beauty, vast pleasure palace & pearly fioriture weren’t enough for “The Six Tenors”? Screw love, revenge is sweeter!

Attila
Bryan Imm Lawyer – Take the universe, but leave Italy (and it’s tough women) to me. Giving her your sword and then marrying her wasn’t too bright!

Batavia
Frindley – Some uptight, upright Dutch founder Down Under and all comes asunder. The Lord of the Flies meets the East India Co

Billy Budd (Britten – )
Devon Cestes – Welcome aboard Billy! Meet Starry! Meet Donald! Meet John… You’re so great Billy, but you killed John!? Off to the darbies :(
Harry Fiddler – Beautiful boy on a rope or evil heart on deck? No hope. / You go by the law. Billy hangs and you regret forevermore.
Chicken Feet 2003 – angst sailor hits officer hangst more angst
Harry Fiddler – Beautiful boy on a rope or evil heart on deck? No hope. / You go by the law. Billy hangs and you regret forevermore.
Alejoplay – Impressed stuttering seaman decks deck tyrant suffering from repressed semen resulting one well-hung seaman

Josiah Gulden – G-g-g-god-d-d-d-dammit I’m not a m-m-m-mutineer! (But I sure am p-p-p-pretty…)
Imani Moseley – stutter much?/throw a punch!/send that Claggart out to lunch/starry Vere/must adhere/beauty Billy must die, i fear

Bliss (Brett Dean – 2009)
Frindley – What’s the Joyful feeling when the opera’s Harried hero dies three times (so the author said), but nobody dies at the end? Bliss!
Prima La Musica – Ad man, ladies’ man, lucky man. Dead man, changed man, madman. New man, green man, Honey’s man. Good man. It’s bliss, man.
Prain F – Harry Joy has heart attack, ends up in Hell. No-one can help, except Honey B through whom he gets his hands dirty & attains BLISS
Harry Fiddler – Betty is cheating | Lucy is bleating | In comes Honey | Sex and sustainability | Save the day
Oz Mouse – Bliss-Harry Joy. Heart attack. My life is hell. Sex. Drugs. Incest. Hotel Room Awakening. Mental asylum.Honey Bee. Escape. Peace

Oz Mouse – Bliss – Harry Joy. Neon lights. My Life is Hell. Elephant sat on my car. Titch’s story. No Fucking. In Elysium
Frindley – Be still my beating heart; the dead white-suited male wakes to a polonaise. Hell, it seems, is a bass clarinet; heaven is Honey
Prima la musica – Betty’s a Bitch, Johnny’s a Jerk, Lucy’s a Leftie, David’s a Dealer. Honey’s a Hooker-with-a-Heart. But Harry? He’s just a Joy.
Prima la musica< – Wife & beekeeper battle for immortal soul of tracksuited Dante. Children, unwisely, are left to their own devices.
Prima la musica< – So Hell isn’t just les autres; it’s les autres in 80s clothes, having inappropriate sex as an elephant crushes your f*cking car

Prima la musica< – Ten years later, Brett Dean’s elaborate excuse to make Peter Coleman-Wright grow a moustache finally pays off

Bluebeard (Bartok – )
Barbara Rathbone – Husband tells wife not to go there. Knock knock knock knock knock knock knock. Wife wishes she hadn’t gone there
Zomervos – Guideline to open the doors: require persistence, ignorance of owner’s wish and conditions of padlocks. Warning: may contain nuts
Gaspsiagore – seven doors in newlyweds’ castle want opening: blood, tears, & other surprises of former wives; clever lighting designer required
Devon Cestes – For sale: One castle. Lots of storage, lots of light, garden. Lakefront property. Some stains. Previous tenants might not leave.
Jepaco – What’s behind that door, and that one, and that one, and that one, and that, and that? Judith, if you ask me one more time…

Classical Review – So much for the honeymoon in Hungary …
Paul JZ – A cautionary tale about eloping with Papa Smurf, honeymoon feng shui & baggage. Behind door #7? “The Real Housewives of Hungary”
Classical Review – Didn’t the other six doors give you a clue? Why do I always marry the stupid ones?’
Otterhouse – Mah’ husband be a brute, an’ all his exes fools, he’p me t’mah room, an I doe an’ some jewels…
Jose S Piano – Honey, it’s dark in here! Let’s open the doors: Red, Orange, Gold, Teal, White, Gray & Silver! -Who the hell are you three? NO!”

Prima la musica – Contestant on macabre Hungarian gameshow ignores all hints from the host and opens one mystery door too many
Imani Moseley – let’s make a deal! door #1=bloody jewels door #2=bloody weapons door #3=dead wives. wait, shouldn’t one be a car or something?
Dumble Dad – Do not open http://tinyurl.com/the-7th-door

Boris Gudonov
Irene Vartanoff – They made me tsar but those bells will drive me mad. Dmitri, is that you? Sorry about the murder. More bells. I’m dying.
Music Biz Kid – When a murder widely unknown/sends a monk 2 ascend Russia’s throne/he stages a coup/brings Marina in 2/&Boris dies scared & alone
Olivia Giovetti – I’d kill to be Tsar. It’s good to be the Tsar. Wait, is D really dead? This is driving me nuts. My son can take over. Dosvedanya.
Maura Laffety – Russia needs a new tsar. Could it be the boyar? Boris, he tries. But then he dies, raving. The ghost calls from afar
Gerrit Theule – How many composers does it take to write Russian opera? At least 4. And they’ve still not figured out how to keep the bass alive

Lattavanti – Cry for poor Russia clang clang new tsar—no that monk is rightful tsar. “AAH!” oops tsar nuts. Clang clang cry for poor Russia.

Brundibar
Danny Liss – The orphans and their animal friends defeat the evil organ grinder. Sort of like Inglorious Basterds ’38, but for children

Candide (Bernstein – _
MMmusing – Life is happiness, Candide; Cunegonde’s all you need. She’ll get raped & die a bit, but survive & gaily glit. Enough? Grow stuff.

Capriccio (R.Strauss -)
Paul JZ – The primacy of words or music? Inseparable! A poet or composer’s heart, and whose operatic ending? Hmm…what’s a Countess to do?
Music Biz Kid – Poet&composer vie for 1 girl’s <3. Quills @10 paces? Nay. Vindication thru collaboration? Not even. Dinner’s an unsatisfying end.
Sam Neuman – Which of these is greater: the glorious sound of music or the irrefutable power of the written word? Whatever, it’s dinnertime
Henri Drost – Do I like the poet or the musician? Oh well, supper is served.
Frindlely – You know it’s getting too meta when onstage chamber music takes over the overture & we launch into a conversation piece about Art

Prima la musica – Conversational Countess makes prevarication quite literally an artform. Blame it on the moonlight.

Carmen (Bizet –
Irene Vartanoff – Gypsy Lust,Carmen’s a Must/DitchMyCareer,BecomeAMountaineer/Carmen gets bored, Soon she is gored.
Gerrit Theule – Cigarettes are unwise and bullfighting is nuts, but a mezzo has them beat for crazy any day of the week.
Third Lady – josé and that gypsy got married?! things have sure changed in seville since the bullfight ban and the new no-smoking law
Harry Fiddler – Smoking kills. Just ask the woman with the husky voice.
In The Theatre – The touch of a flower can be a blow to a poised man, a powerful aphrodisiac that leads to love & hate,jealousy,fury & death.

Opera San Jose – Hey, Jose- don’t you wish your girlfriend was hot like me? And by hot, I mean smoking. Literally.
Patty Andreu – Gipsy girl meets Dragon.Eros appears. Gipsy girl meets a Torero. Eros appears. Dragon stabs gipsy girl. Too much Eros!
Megoceleste – She warns him before, she warns him during, she warns him after. Just let a girl have a matador, Jose!
Mere Fox – I’m sorry I can’t love you, but Gypsies just wanna have fun.
Madison Opera – Life’s a breeze / where you’re a tease. Except with Don Jose / who says no way. Monogamy or not? That’s pretty much the

Huntley FX – Carmen: Boy meets girl, girl meets another boy, 1st boy kills girl. The End.
P Schleuse – Though cigarettes can be a killer, they’re nothing to a Seguidiller. As Don Jose’s been known to quip, love can really be a gyp
Francis Sadac – Sashaying gypsy seduces soldier boy but discards him for sexier bullfighter.Spurned boytoy knifes her as new lover knifes a bull.
– Toreador shrugs: “She was a splendid wild bird ensnared by petty criminals and obsessive lovers. Not even I can fight Fate.”
Richard Bratby – You reek of fags – having an affair? Only with Marlboro Lights, luv. Here, try one – it can be be our little secret

Otterhouse – Cigarettes won’t kill you… better watch out for the guy who smokes them
Lattavanti – Innocent M or sexy C? No contest. Dishonor, jail, adventure, dumped for a local hero. Aren’t I the hero? She dies.
Mandy Inhofer – Don Jose falls in love, but then he gets Gypped.
Michael Tuchman – Soldier doesn’t want to marry nice girl. He chases bad one.He gets cold feet. She dates hot celeb, so he kills her.
Mehgan A – Hey Jose – next time, eHarmony…

Pattyoboe – Smokin’ hot story: Seduction. Desertion. Prediction of death. Rejection. New lover. She takes her last breath
Illenatimd – good guy, good woman, bad woman, takes bad woman, becomes bad guy and kills bad woman
Oliver JMC – Manic soldier runs gypsy temptress through. Then he kills her. En garde, indeed, madame toreador!

Castor et Pollux
EG Meijer – R U kiddin’ me, four hours of tedious vocal baroque music, only to find out that some Star Twins will shine forever?

Cavalleria Rusticana
Pierce Lumpkin – Facts of life: tenors are easily outfoxed while singing, but every cock has his day
E Wurzbach – Turiddu is dead. Curtain.
Hariclea – Top 3 causes of death in Sicilian village: womanising, lying to your mom, ear-biting
Sam Neuman – Santuzza, baby, I know it hurts, and Häagen-Dazs won’t be invented for a few decades, but seriously: he’s just not that into you

Cosi fan tutte (Mozart – )
Vankan0 – F_0 is true to G (he thinks). D is true to F_1 (he thinks). Don A says Huh? He’s right, what do they know? All men act like that!
Pattyoboe– Sisters! Sisters! Never have u seen such fickle sisters. Turks arrive & they fall so quick. Fiances return; it was all a trick.
Devon Cestes – Our girls are faithful!’ ‘No they’re not, try on these mustaches.’ ‘Our girls AREN’T faithful!?!’ Everybody gets laid.
Chicken Feet 2003 – Chick magnets poisoned. Chick’s magnet unpoisons
Paul JZ – TwoMenWageToProveWomenFickle/LandingThemInQuiteAPickle/AsAlbaniansTheyKnew/BothSistersThey’dWoo/AudiencesAgelessHijinksDothTickle

Paul JZ – “Women Are Like That/Thus Do They All/The School for Lovers/Tit for Tat/Fiancée Swap/Such Are All Women” (Call it what you will!)
N Brockmann – 2GuysMeetTheirGalsUndercover/TheirFidelityThusToDiscover/ TheyVow”Come Scoglio!”/ButInTheImbroglio/Each1AlmostWedsTheWrongLover!
P Schleuse – Some folks shun CosiFanTutte, find its characters too fruity. Its moral yet is worth a ponder: Absence Makes the Heart Go Wander
Classical Review – It’s basically Kate Bush’s Babooshka … but with a happier ending. And ‘Albanians’
Rciprotti – Women = sluts. Not ours, they love us! Switch places, get disguised, then you’ll see all women lie. Sad but true, we still love u

Dumbledad – Women eh! You recon? You’re on. ‘Told ya
Busy Needles – Two guys in disguise disillusion two girls and show that availability is the best aphrodisiac.

The Curlew
Imani Mosely – baritone lets crazy lady (man? lady?) ride boat for free. puts up w/her moans & reunites lady w/lost (dead) son?! domo arigato!

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33 comments

  1. VERY exciting to see it coming together! Thanks T.O.M.!!!

    This should be categorized under, Die Frau ohne Schatten, not Turandot:
    Paul JZ – The Empress needs what the mortal woman has, decides she doesn’t want it badly enough, but gets it anyway. Typical daddy’s girl!

    This one should be categorized under Capriccio, not Ariadne:
    Paul JZ – The primacy of words or music? Inseparable! A poet or composer’s heart, and whose operatic ending? Hmm…what’s a Countess to do?

    This one should be categorized under Don Giovanni, not Carmen:
    Paul JZ – I’m too sexy for amor—too sexy for Seville. I’m a charmer—I shake my lil tush on the piazza. I’m too sexy for this opera. *burns*

    These 2 other entries of mine from around the same time aren’t under the correct opera, and therefore might be in “Orphans,” but that link isn’t working for me, so I’m just including them here:

    This entry should be categorized under Tristan und Isolde:
    Breton ♂ + Irish ♀ + ♫ leitmotifs in ♠s = ♥ death

    This entry should be categorized under Rusalka:
    Bewitched, bothered, and bewildered, but mum’s the word…smooch, smooch, glub, glub.

  2. The ANDREA CHENIER plot from Bloody Mortimer should actually be GIULIO CESARE.

    The ARIADNE AUF NAXOS plot from Paul JZ should actually be CAPRICCIO.

    The CARMEN plot from Paul JZ should actually be DON GIOVANNI, no? Not sure.

    The CAVALLERIA RUSTICANA plot from Pierce Lumpkin is something else….

  3. @pipingpoems

    it’s been mentioned above and I too am wondering if Paul JZ ‘s Ariadne of Naxos isn’t actually Capriccio?!

  4. Brian H

    Miss Mussel – This entry by Madison Opera [“My mother-in-law is cruel / my husband’s a tool. But Boris is dreamy / maybe he’ll save me. Or not. Boom, crash, splash.”] is misplaced under Boris Gudonov. It’s actually for Katya Kabanova!

  5. Miss Mussel
    Author

    Ok – got all these except for Pierce’s. Will leave it there until further notice.

    FYI – the format In Don Giovanni, Bloody Mortimer’s entry goes in Die Walküre is helpful because it’s easy for me to find what you’re talking about.

  6. bloodymortimer

    Jennifer P is right – My Antony & Cleopatra should be Julius Caesar in egypt. but i deleted it anyway, it was probably my worst effort….

  7. Following “Paul JZ” entry under “Cosi” is cut-off. It should read, in full:
    TwoMenWageToProveWomenFickle/LandingThemInQuiteAPickle/AsAlbaniansTheyKnew/BothSistersThey’dWoo/AudiencesAgelessHijinksDothTickle.

  8. amndw2 – Sorry that I’ve killed your boyfriend. To make it up to you, I will turn you into a tree. is not A flowering tree, but Daphne (Richard Strauss). And not by amndw2, but by me.

  9. Irene Vartanoff

    Missing my Andrea Chenier:

    #operaplot Decadent aristos crush idealist poet/ Romantic rival revolutionary, his own ideals crushed, lets mob kill poet.

    Guess it’s an orphan somewhere.

  10. lattavanti

    Hi, oops, my Aegyptische Helena summary is under Cadmus et Hermione (that’s what you get for imagining what happens afterwards rather than summarizing the plot). Though as a big Lully fan I kind of like that. I reported it missing on the D-Die page but hadn’t spotted it hanging out here….

  11. A Midsummer Night’s Dream
    @frindley deleted the “whole-tone scale” version of this operaplot from the Twitter feed. The phyrgian mode version is correct.

  12. pschleuse

    As noted, my entry “Country life is no vacation … Peter Quint” is, of course, Turn of the Screw.

    Also, missing my Ariadne auf Naxos:

    Zerbinetta’s always plucky; Ariadne’s not so lucky. Though she does little but lament, her happy ending’s heaven-sent. #operaplot

  13. Patty Oboe – If he’d stuck to loving his tree instead of wanting me there wouldn’t be three acts of misery. At least it all ends happily. was actually Xerxes :-)

  14. Busy Needles

    I had an entry for Cosi fan tutte:

    Two guys in disguise disillusion two girls and show that availability is the best aphrodisiac.

    Hope I’ve got the character count correct. Thanks for a very enjoyable contest!

  15. Kosmaj

    The link to “Instructions on what to do if your plot isn’t here/is in the wrong spot” is broken, returns 404 error.

  16. James (@musicbizkid)

    Under At the Boar’s Head, my entry:

    Music Biz Kid – Wherein we learn Prince Hal/has this hedonistic pal/who chases and flirts/with a bevy of skirts/& it gets him dumped in the canal

    though somewhat apropos, should be under Falstaff

  17. (Be sure to include my tweeted entry for Armida…just in case you didn’t get my email. Thanks!):

    (Paul JZ) My dazzling beauty, vast pleasure palace & pearly fioriture weren’t enough for “The Six Tenors”? Screw love, revenge is sweeter! #operabase [Armida]

  18. Richard Bratby

    (@RichardBratby) My summary of “Carmen” here was actually meant to be Wolf-Ferrari’s “Il Segreto di Susanna”. Obviously not a very good effort :-(

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