#Operaplot 2010 Entries: Don – Fz

A-C | D-Die Zauberflöte | Don-Fz | G-L | La | Lb-Qz | R-Tg | The | Thf-Z | Orphans

Instructions on what to do if your plot isn’t here/is in the wrong spot

Don Carlo
Megoceleste – Italian or French, 4 acts or 5, it’s still a terrible idea to fall in love with your stepmother
Irene Vartanoff – DadStoleMyGirl/I’llGiveFlandersAWhirl/DadWhines’CauseMomCries/EboliSighs&PossaDies/I’mToastButSavedByAGhost
Hariclea – Left nice boy to marry his dad. Girlfriend betrayed me to sleep with my hubby. Found friend, he got shot. To hell with duty!

Don Giovanni (Mozart – )
Vankan0 – it 640 de 231 fr 100 tr 91 es 1003. Kill father. Dress up as servant. Seduce farmer girl. Supper with ghost. Go to hell.
Gerrit Theule – A rake’s progression goes from woman to woman to woman to hell. His poor servant, left to explain things, escapes at least.
Gerrit Theule – Three strikes and the Don’s out. The Commendatore wins every time. Except at the beginning. He doesn’t fare so well there
Patrick Swanson – I tell ya, Leporello-life is good. Bangin hot chicks, breakin hearts. Pass the butter. *knock knock* Who’s there? Oh shit.
Paul JZ – The Don’s Hectic Calendar: Seduce. Rape. Duel. Kill. Flirt. Lure. Flee. Regroup. Accuse. Swap. Fool. Invite. Revel. Refuse. BURN!

Paul JZ – “Questo è il fin di chi fa mal!” So, don’t seduce, rape, accuse, fool, desert, lure, beat, or kill, lest you be dragged to hell!
Thos Carpenter – A cautionary take for serial rapists everywhere: never invite a walking, talking statue from hell to a dinner party.
MMmusing – Cad kills Commendatore. Conquests cataloged, courts country cutie. Cry creates chaos. Cast Commendatore comeback cues comeuppance
MPR Mike – 1003 in Seville is plenty.
Paul JZ – I’m too sexy for amor—too sexy for Seville. I’m a charmer—I shake my lil tush on the piazza. I’m too sexy for this opera. *burns*

Fabtab – Man leaves Playboy mansion to compete for a virgin; sings a rap so filthy even the Pope digs it.
Oliver JMC – By some miracle, he didn’t experience any burning sensations until after the 1003rd.
Eric Mahlzeit – Cunning Spanish nobleman murders, seduces, serenades, and throws one hell of a dinner party.
Where’s Runnicles – How many? I don’t believe you. Seriously, I made a list. Where do you think you’re dragging me off to and why is it so hot there?
CTMCC – Go to hell Don G says mad woman, sad woman, nearly-bad woman, their menfolk and many many others

MPR Mike – In which our hero learns that, in Spain, he should have stopped at 1003.
Pattyoboe – He’s made a long list, checked it more than twice. Everyone knows he’s naughty, not nice. Dinner time for Statue & Don
Otterhouse – Leporello: “Drink wet cement and really get stoned”
Shevinka – Hi lep, remember that old dude we killed? Well he got me b4 the stds did! give your wife *one* for me :p, see you in hell :) xx
Lattavanti – No reference from former boss because he went to Hell for killing some chick’s dad. Here’s a list of other gfs—see, he trusted me

Henri Drost – I can’t get no satisfaction tho I’ve tried 2066 times. No no no says Leporello but I’d be damned to decline an invitation
Le Boyfriend – Kissed the girls and made them cry.Stabbed one’s dad and watched him die.Offered chances to repent,he opted to be Hades sent. Men!

Dr Atomic (Adams – )
Classical Critic – After repetitive music and self-important lyrics, regret-panged Oppenheimer faces Mr. Adams and suggests:That really *did* bomb.
Henri Drost – Let’s make a bomb!
Dumbledad – Batter my heart, three-person’d God, I, except you enthrall me, never shall be free, nor ever chaste, except you ravish me *BOOM*
Chicken Feet 2003 – Batter my ears three noted score
Thos Carpenter – My wife’s anxiety can be neither created nor destroyed, but only altered into the form of a poem. Is it me, or has time slowed?

Frindley – The nuclear-physical Trinity meets the metaphysical three-person’d god in Adamsian setting. John Donne wins
Busy Needles – Endless angst in the desert. Wife depressed. Locals unhappy. In desperation, turn to Donne. Testing…3..2..1….Bang!
Boosey & Hawkes – After much science-chattering & heart-battering Dr A’s bomb detonated with earth-shattering consequences
Eighth Blackbird – How I learned to stop worrying and love the bomb

Oliver JMC – Unrequited love, but this time with a sick mad scene. Edgardo can’t die with such flair, so he goes quick and easy.

Einstein On The Beach (Adams -)
Bloody Mortimer – 1234 123 1234 123 1234 1234 123 1234 123 1234 1234 123 1234 123 1234 1234 123 1234 123 1234 re mi fa me re mi fa me e=mc^2 [fin]
By The Water’s Edge -“1…2…3…4…5…6…7…8” (Repeat for 5 hours, interspersed with ‘plays’ about ‘knees’)
AAM_Music – Train/Trial/Field/Spaceship/Prison/Bed/Dance; scientific genius; almost 5 hours later 2 characters on a bench wait for a bus
Enno DeWitt – 1234 123456 12345678

El Niño (Adams – )
Bloody Mortimer – virgin birth sees herod run a muck. beaded flattop dwarf brings projector.

Elegy For Young Lovers
Sublime Louise – Actor directs, poet reflects, mad-woman’s visions, young man’s missions, lovers are dead, Elegy is said, tick-tock opera clock

Elektra (R. Strauss – )
Arbakr – My bro came back, my mom and stepdad got hacked to pieces…I am so happy now we do the dance of joy!!! *croak*
Bryan Imm Lawyer – You’d think after so many years of planning double murders she’d remember the axe. Instead, she dances with it and drops dead.
Maura Lafferty – As an animal she’s treated/conversations are heated/Here comes Orest/revenge is addressed/She dies when she gets what she needed
Sublime Louise – So like Mummy killed Daddy, like totally bummed, but Orrie sorted her out … way cool … I’m so happy I could just like … die!

Émilie du Châtelet
Henri Drost – Scientist ponders affair with Voltaire and fears giving birth to child from another man.

Ewartung (R.Strauss – )
Sam Neuman -I am alone in a forest! I am screaming what seem to be random notes! AHH! OOH! AOOH! (This will be done in 45 minutes. Promise.)

Eugene Onegin
Jessica Duchen – Dear Eugene, I don’t love you any more. Please tear up my letter before you kill any more of your friends, as you haven’t many!
Classical Critic – I don’t love that silly girl. I’m too cool for this. Shoot, there goes my friend. Wait, maybe… But it is too late, too Russian.
Sam Neuman – Today on Ricki Lakovsky: Eugene wouldn’t give Tatiana a second look when she was a kid-but look at her now! Come on out, Tatiana!
Harry Fiddler Dear Eugene, I love you. Dear Tati, I don’t. BANG! Dear Tati, I love you. Dear Eugene, I don’t. CURTAIN.
Megoceleste-Take your letter writing out of here, I’m married now. If you liked then you shoulda…well, you know.

Classical Spirit – Rake meets lady, lady loves rake, rake spurns lady, kills friend and goes off. Lady marries,rake then loves her,lady spurns rake
E Flat Majorgetting burned by smug hobo prob 4 the best, esp when he gropes ur sis at ur party then shoots her bf. better marry rich&boring
Fun With Iago – So I wrote this guy this EPIC love letter & he’s like “No thanks”, but now I’m married & rich & he’s all “OMG I LURV U!!” WTF?
Amndw2 – Missed Connections: Girl who wrote me that letter: write again? I think I made the wrong decision. Several of them, actually.

Falstaff (Verdi – )
Dustefjerten – Lovesick knight, identical letters, plots to punish, couple behind screen, fat man in laundry basket. All a joke in the end.
Music Biz Kid – Wherein we learn Prince Hal/has this hedonistic pal/who chases and flirts/with a bevy of skirts/& it gets him dumped in the canal
Nicole Brockmann – Windsor meets Wisteria Lane: desperate housewives foil greedy himbo. He’s beaten by fairies (?!); hilarity ensues, also “I do’s”

Faust (Weber – )
Olivia Giovetti – Tired old philosopher gets a hell of a deal with sex, drugs + French opera. Devil still does better, and with way cooler arias.
Pierce Lumpkin – Old man who made his fortunes in a hollow corporate job rediscovers his life by revisiting the passions of his youth. Allegory
Pattyoboe – Ah, that old black magic. Wishes are granted; knowledge & power of genius are his. But the devil is in the details
Calluna SF – he deal with the devil thing seemed like a good idea when I was old & ugly but it didn’t turn out so well. Who’d a thunk it.
Jennifer Stumm – Hell, I would’ve been better off staying home with a margarita.

Eric Mahlzeit – Embarrassed sorcery student extinguishes town’s fire. Town barters for its return. Price: Diemut-tap(ped ass)
Frindley – The title’s a falscher Freund (burning mucous???); turns out a comely virgin will light the #operaplot fires on a bed of Wagner references

Fidelio (Beethoven – )
Patty Andreu – L:I want my husband back F:I’m hungry! L:I’ve found my husband! F:I’m hungry! L: Dear, you’re free ! F: Yes, but I’M HUNGRY!
Alejoplay – Leonore always wanted to wear the pants in the family .
Otterhouse – Just like the opera she was called Leonora,but sacrifices that name for Florestans sake.This offer comes free with four overtures
Frindley – The title’s a falsche Freund (burning mucous???); turns out a comely virgin will light the #operaplot fires on a bed of Wagner references

Four Saints In Three Acts
P Schleuse – Terry 1 and Terry 2, Compère, Commere, Loyola too. A Spanish town? Perhaps a Mass? Gertrude was smoking grass, alas.

From The House Of The Dead (Janacek -)
Arbakr – Surprise: Siberian prison camp life sucks. But at least the eagle is czar, so…there’s that.


  1. Irene Vartanoff

    Listed incomplete:

    Irene Vartanoff: DadStoleMyGirl/I’llGiveFlandersAWhirl/DadWhines’CauseMomCries/EboliSighs&PosaDies/I’mToastButSavedByAGhost (Don Carlo)

    Wrong opera: Not, Don Giovanni, but Tosca. (The Don prefers to charm them.)

    Irene Vartanoff – I love it when women resist me./Arrgh. /I’m dead, but I’ve still got a nasty surprise for you./ See you in hell, b****.

    Here’s that missing post I e-mailed about posting twice but never seeing it on operaplot, only on my own Tweet list: (Eugene Onegin)

    @operaplot I’m too sexy for you girl, too sexy for my friend/I’m too sexy for the country, too sexy for the city/Now you’re too sexy for me. 11:56 PM Apr 26th via web

    • Miss Mussel

      Hi Irene, thanks for these. Would you mind rechecking tomorrow when I get a whole pile of other entries up? If still missing, I’ll post them from here. The time cut-off was 6:30am GMT, so anything posted after that won’t be up yet.

  2. Irene Vartanoff

    Irene Vartanoff – I love it when women resist me./Arrgh. /I’m dead, but I’ve still got a nasty surprise for you./ See you in hell, b****.

    No, this is Tosca

  3. Doctor Atomic:
    @frindley’s operaplot is missing the initial T in “The nuclear-physical…”

    This one should be attributed to @frindley
    – The title’s a falsche Freund (burning mucous???); turns out a comely virgin will light the #operaplot fires on a bed of Wagner references
    (And if you’re willing to let me correct my bad German – without exceeding the character count – I think it should be “falscher”.)

  4. My entry “I am not afraid. I am not afraid. But wait, that is not a man! I am afraid.” was supposed to be Siegfried, but I now realise it’s actually Siegfried and Don Gio.

  5. bloodymortimer

    err.. feldman is the composer (& i mean THE composer… of the C20th… ) , not the opera. the opera is called “neither” (libretto by samuel beckett) & although my tweet is kind of lame, i couldn’t live with myself without seeing feldman represented.

    also my el nino is missing (adams)

    “virgin birth sees herod run a muck. beaded flattop dwarf brings projector. #operaplot”

    • Miss Mussel

      I thought Feldman was a weird title but if there’s one thing I’ve learned doing these comps it’s that anything is possible in the world of opera.

      El Niño added.

  6. Oliver

    Perhaps too late, but

    Oliver JMC – Unrequited love, but this time with a sick mad scene. Edgardo can’t die with such flair, so he goes quick and easy.

    was intended to be Lucia di Lammermoor.

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