Megoceleste – Italian or French, 4 acts or 5, it’s still a terrible idea to fall in love with your stepmother
Irene Vartanoff – DadStoleMyGirl/I’llGiveFlandersAWhirl/DadWhines’CauseMomCries/EboliSighs&PossaDies/I’mToastButSavedByAGhost
Hariclea – Left nice boy to marry his dad. Girlfriend betrayed me to sleep with my hubby. Found friend, he got shot. To hell with duty!
Don Giovanni (Mozart – )
Vankan0 – it 640 de 231 fr 100 tr 91 es 1003. Kill father. Dress up as servant. Seduce farmer girl. Supper with ghost. Go to hell.
Gerrit Theule – A rake’s progression goes from woman to woman to woman to hell. His poor servant, left to explain things, escapes at least.
Gerrit Theule – Three strikes and the Don’s out. The Commendatore wins every time. Except at the beginning. He doesn’t fare so well there
Patrick Swanson – I tell ya, Leporello-life is good. Bangin hot chicks, breakin hearts. Pass the butter. *knock knock* Who’s there? Oh shit.
Paul JZ – The Don’s Hectic Calendar: Seduce. Rape. Duel. Kill. Flirt. Lure. Flee. Regroup. Accuse. Swap. Fool. Invite. Revel. Refuse. BURN!
Paul JZ – “Questo è il fin di chi fa mal!” So, don’t seduce, rape, accuse, fool, desert, lure, beat, or kill, lest you be dragged to hell!
Thos Carpenter – A cautionary take for serial rapists everywhere: never invite a walking, talking statue from hell to a dinner party.
MMmusing – Cad kills Commendatore. Conquests cataloged, courts country cutie. Cry creates chaos. Cast Commendatore comeback cues comeuppance
MPR Mike – 1003 in Seville is plenty.
Paul JZ – I’m too sexy for amor—too sexy for Seville. I’m a charmer—I shake my lil tush on the piazza. I’m too sexy for this opera. *burns*
Fabtab – Man leaves Playboy mansion to compete for a virgin; sings a rap so filthy even the Pope digs it.
Oliver JMC – By some miracle, he didn’t experience any burning sensations until after the 1003rd.
Eric Mahlzeit – Cunning Spanish nobleman murders, seduces, serenades, and throws one hell of a dinner party.
Where’s Runnicles – How many? I don’t believe you. Seriously, I made a list. Where do you think you’re dragging me off to and why is it so hot there?
CTMCC – Go to hell Don G says mad woman, sad woman, nearly-bad woman, their menfolk and many many others
MPR Mike – In which our hero learns that, in Spain, he should have stopped at 1003.
Pattyoboe – He’s made a long list, checked it more than twice. Everyone knows he’s naughty, not nice. Dinner time for Statue & Don
Otterhouse – Leporello: “Drink wet cement and really get stoned”
Shevinka – Hi lep, remember that old dude we killed? Well he got me b4 the stds did! give your wife *one* for me :p, see you in hell :) xx
Lattavanti – No reference from former boss because he went to Hell for killing some chick’s dad. Here’s a list of other gfs—see, he trusted me
Henri Drost – I can’t get no satisfaction tho I’ve tried 2066 times. No no no says Leporello but I’d be damned to decline an invitation
Le Boyfriend – Kissed the girls and made them cry.Stabbed one’s dad and watched him die.Offered chances to repent,he opted to be Hades sent. Men!
Dr Atomic (Adams – )
Classical Critic – After repetitive music and self-important lyrics, regret-panged Oppenheimer faces Mr. Adams and suggests:That really *did* bomb.
Henri Drost – Let’s make a bomb!
Dumbledad – Batter my heart, three-person’d God, I, except you enthrall me, never shall be free, nor ever chaste, except you ravish me *BOOM*
Chicken Feet 2003 – Batter my ears three noted score
Thos Carpenter – My wife’s anxiety can be neither created nor destroyed, but only altered into the form of a poem. Is it me, or has time slowed?
Frindley – The nuclear-physical Trinity meets the metaphysical three-person’d god in Adamsian setting. John Donne wins
Busy Needles – Endless angst in the desert. Wife depressed. Locals unhappy. In desperation, turn to Donne. Testing…3..2..1….Bang!
Boosey & Hawkes – After much science-chattering & heart-battering Dr A’s bomb detonated with earth-shattering consequences
Eighth Blackbird – How I learned to stop worrying and love the bomb
Oliver JMC – Unrequited love, but this time with a sick mad scene. Edgardo can’t die with such flair, so he goes quick and easy.
Einstein On The Beach (Adams -)
Bloody Mortimer – 1234 123 1234 123 1234 1234 123 1234 123 1234 1234 123 1234 123 1234 1234 123 1234 123 1234 re mi fa me re mi fa me e=mc^2 [fin]
By The Water’s Edge -“1…2…3…4…5…6…7…8” (Repeat for 5 hours, interspersed with ‘plays’ about ‘knees’)
AAM_Music – Train/Trial/Field/Spaceship/Prison/Bed/Dance; scientific genius; almost 5 hours later 2 characters on a bench wait for a bus
Enno DeWitt – 1234 123456 12345678
El Niño (Adams – )
Bloody Mortimer – virgin birth sees herod run a muck. beaded flattop dwarf brings projector.
Elegy For Young Lovers
Sublime Louise – Actor directs, poet reflects, mad-woman’s visions, young man’s missions, lovers are dead, Elegy is said, tick-tock opera clock
Elektra (R. Strauss – )
Arbakr – My bro came back, my mom and stepdad got hacked to pieces…I am so happy now we do the dance of joy!!! *croak*
Bryan Imm Lawyer – You’d think after so many years of planning double murders she’d remember the axe. Instead, she dances with it and drops dead.
Maura Lafferty – As an animal she’s treated/conversations are heated/Here comes Orest/revenge is addressed/She dies when she gets what she needed
Sublime Louise – So like Mummy killed Daddy, like totally bummed, but Orrie sorted her out … way cool … I’m so happy I could just like … die!
Émilie du Châtelet
Henri Drost – Scientist ponders affair with Voltaire and fears giving birth to child from another man.
Ewartung (R.Strauss – )
Sam Neuman -I am alone in a forest! I am screaming what seem to be random notes! AHH! OOH! AOOH! (This will be done in 45 minutes. Promise.)
Jessica Duchen – Dear Eugene, I don’t love you any more. Please tear up my letter before you kill any more of your friends, as you haven’t many!
Classical Critic – I don’t love that silly girl. I’m too cool for this. Shoot, there goes my friend. Wait, maybe… But it is too late, too Russian.
Sam Neuman – Today on Ricki Lakovsky: Eugene wouldn’t give Tatiana a second look when she was a kid-but look at her now! Come on out, Tatiana!
Harry Fiddler Dear Eugene, I love you. Dear Tati, I don’t. BANG! Dear Tati, I love you. Dear Eugene, I don’t. CURTAIN.
Megoceleste-Take your letter writing out of here, I’m married now. If you liked then you shoulda…well, you know.
Classical Spirit – Rake meets lady, lady loves rake, rake spurns lady, kills friend and goes off. Lady marries,rake then loves her,lady spurns rake
E Flat Majorgetting burned by smug hobo prob 4 the best, esp when he gropes ur sis at ur party then shoots her bf. better marry rich&boring
Fun With Iago – So I wrote this guy this EPIC love letter & he’s like “No thanks”, but now I’m married & rich & he’s all “OMG I LURV U!!” WTF?
Amndw2 – Missed Connections: Girl who wrote me that letter: write again? I think I made the wrong decision. Several of them, actually.
Falstaff (Verdi – )
Dustefjerten – Lovesick knight, identical letters, plots to punish, couple behind screen, fat man in laundry basket. All a joke in the end.
Music Biz Kid – Wherein we learn Prince Hal/has this hedonistic pal/who chases and flirts/with a bevy of skirts/& it gets him dumped in the canal
Nicole Brockmann – Windsor meets Wisteria Lane: desperate housewives foil greedy himbo. He’s beaten by fairies (?!); hilarity ensues, also “I do’s”
Faust (Weber – )
Olivia Giovetti – Tired old philosopher gets a hell of a deal with sex, drugs + French opera. Devil still does better, and with way cooler arias.
Pierce Lumpkin – Old man who made his fortunes in a hollow corporate job rediscovers his life by revisiting the passions of his youth. Allegory
Pattyoboe – Ah, that old black magic. Wishes are granted; knowledge & power of genius are his. But the devil is in the details
Calluna SF – he deal with the devil thing seemed like a good idea when I was old & ugly but it didn’t turn out so well. Who’d a thunk it.
Jennifer Stumm – Hell, I would’ve been better off staying home with a margarita.
Eric Mahlzeit – Embarrassed sorcery student extinguishes town’s fire. Town barters for its return. Price: Diemut-tap(ped ass)
Frindley – The title’s a falscher Freund (burning mucous???); turns out a comely virgin will light the #operaplot fires on a bed of Wagner references
Fidelio (Beethoven – )
Patty Andreu – L:I want my husband back F:I’m hungry! L:I’ve found my husband! F:I’m hungry! L: Dear, you’re free ! F: Yes, but I’M HUNGRY!
Alejoplay – Leonore always wanted to wear the pants in the family .
Otterhouse – Just like the opera she was called Leonora,but sacrifices that name for Florestans sake.This offer comes free with four overtures
Frindley – The title’s a falsche Freund (burning mucous???); turns out a comely virgin will light the #operaplot fires on a bed of Wagner references
Four Saints In Three Acts
P Schleuse – Terry 1 and Terry 2, Compère, Commere, Loyola too. A Spanish town? Perhaps a Mass? Gertrude was smoking grass, alas.
From The House Of The Dead (Janacek -)
Arbakr – Surprise: Siberian prison camp life sucks. But at least the eagle is czar, so…there’s that.