The OM’s foreign correspondent sends these slices of brilliance from Cologne. Trude Herr (auf Deutsch) was a hometown girl, who had a great career as a character actress in German film and as a singer on the Berlin cabaret circuit.

Here is Ms Trude in the precursor to Right Said Fred and I’m Too Sexy


[a passable Google translation of the lyrics]

When I was a baby, sweet and very stupid | As early as each man turned to me
And if I was so fond of the polar-bear | Met with delight each of the shock

And why?

Because I’m so sexy, sexy and mad | Are all the men out, all the men out | When they see me, from eighty to ten

Because I’m so sexy, sexy and mad | I tear men down, I tear it back and forth | Until they just let ???

I don’t have a Sophia Loren chassis | But otherwise I’m cute, you probably can see
In Petticoat and fishnet stocking I whistle too | One can see that I do not need something like

And why? [chorus]

I go so much fishing, pike, or whether ?? | However, all fish that swim past
But see me once while fishing any man | ??pike that bites at me

And why? [chorus] [chorus 2]

Trude’s crowning moment is this performance of Ich will keine Schokolade in 1965. At first Miss Mussel feared a Liza With A Z situation but after a few bars, it’s obvious she has the audience eating out of her hand instead of wondering what rehab centres are nearby. Trude is bringing it in a tent-shaped tunic and Miss Mussel cannot do anything other than be deeply impressed.

[again with the Google translation. Basically our damsel wants to get busy and when her mission is compromised by offers of chocolate, she throws tantrums]

I’m incredibly solid and I have never dated.
I’m more than with parents, a bit of a walk now and then.
My father says it must remain that and for that he gives me candy.
But the other day was the last straw because I do not taste sweets anymore!

I do not want chocolate, I prefer a man who I want to kiss me and can wrap around my finger!

I recently had grad birthday and forget this day I never
because all the aunts and relatives were with the party.
They brought roses and daffodils and heavy as chocolate,
there’s me suddenly swept away, I screamed, “I want that stuff no more.”

[chorus]

I bought Sunday at the fair for twenty penny to me a lot.
I’ve actually won but the disappointment was great.
But because I won a teddy bear, chocolate ‘and marzipan.
I threw the rage in the crowd and yelled at the ticket sellers:

[chorus]