#Operaplot 2011 Orphans

Ladies and gentlemen: the orphans spreadsheet. Instead of copying the #operaplot you are trying to identify as you may have done in previous years, just use write the first three words or so and the name of the opera in the comments.

If this is your first time commenting, don’t panic if it doesn’t appear straight away. I have to approve new commenters and I will do as quickly as a I can.

If your #operaplot is here, don’t be sad. Inclusion on this list doesn’t at all mean that you’re plot isn’t good, merely that our crack team of identifiers wasn’t 100% sure which opera it is describing and didn’t want to consign you by accident to the wrong section.

Please only guess on the ones you are reasonably sure of.

The plots are in alphabetical order and will be updated as more come in, so do check back often.

Ok — have at it!

[gview file=”http://theomniscientmussel.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/Operaplot-20114.pdf”]


  1. JohnGilks

    “student angsts over grown ups’ behaviour and girlfriend’s reticence. “The play’s the thing….””


    “Turkish sultan commits suicide to save daughter from tyrant, Mongol ruler who becomes forgiving at the end #allswellthatendswell”


    “A fairy godmother and bracelet are nice. Who needs a glass slipper and talkative mice? #operaplot”

    La Cenerentola

  2. HenricEk

    Happy Easter. Bite me! – Cavalleria rusticana.
    haha! I’ll kill your son. Wait – Il Trovatore
    I insist on marrying the bravest man – Walküre (or Siegfried)
    I love you! I love you! (cue thunder) – Samson et Dalila
    I tell the wife to go to hell – Orphée au enfers
    Ineffectual toff fails – La clemenza di Tito
    It’s like Trovatore – La juive
    It’s really advisable – Die Gezeichneten

  3. 1 rake, 2 acts, 3 soprani – Don G.
    CC – gotta go. bt IL B bac – Madama Butterfly
    Fair-haired mare – Pelleas et Melisande
    Happy Easter. – Cavalleria rusticana

  4. Jen

    OMG! Told my girls I would save him, then dad brings the ghost from the portrait home for dinner. Hope floats, but I don’t. #operaplot – Der Fliegende Hollander (stupid diacritics)

    Treat him to booty calls & magic weapons no strings attached. He confesses, tries to have me exorcised! WTF! I’m burnin shit up! #operaplot – Esclarmonde J. Massenet

    If gypsy in a bar tells you fortune & happiness will be yours if you join the Italian army, consider priesthood instead. Trust me #operaplot – La Forza del Destino (I know really just a peek into Act 2 Scene 1)

    Hiho Hiho off to Alexandria I go. Convert the ho then home I go. O no, I want her so! Say Venus-Yes Jesus-No! To heaven she goes. #operaplot – Thais (again diacritics)

    Deal w/devil. Bed a virgin, get her to drug mom, do her, then off to orgy. She’s killed mom & baby but begs forgiveness.Winning? #operaplot – Mefistofele

    I think that is all of mine.

  5. Three hot-blooded Italians went to Sant’Angelo: Tosca
    Tell me all about your old girlfriends: Hoffman
    Witch brother?: think it must be Trovatore
    Wait… are they disinfecting this place? Oh man that kid is hot!: Death in Venice\
    Sniffing flowers of unknown provenance: Adriana
    So I’m poor and crazy, and my girlfriend is a whore: Wozzeck
    SWM, mature, well-off: This was actually mine, so 100% sure it’s supposed to be Bluebeard’s Castle as personal ad.
    I’m a princess! Wait, no, I’m a slave: Aida
    Goldsmith’s daughter: Meistersinger
    haha, I kill your son! Wait, my son: Trovatore
    Hiho Hiho off to Alexandria I go: Thais
    For her it means saving a life and redeeming herself. For him it means falling in love and being able to trust his heart again: I think this is Fanciulla (awwww.)
    A diva deceived By a suitor who’d suit her: Adriana
    A fairy godmother and bracelet are nice: Cenerentola
    A royal finds pleasure in deception and holy crossdressing: I think Ory, even though the Comte isn’t strictly royalty
    Breaking news: Stalker ex-boyfriend: Carmen
    Crusaders campaign: Ory again
    Ineffectual toff fails to assassinate emperor: Clemenza di Tito
    No, I can’t shag you. Now gimme that spear: Parsifal
    Now let me see. The love of a chaste and pious: Tannhaeuser
    Wake up, so we can go to bed: think this must be Gounod’s R&J
    Wanted: religious person of good standing: Also R&J

    I insist on marrying the bravest man on earth: This has to be Bruennhilde about Siegfried, but I’m not sure which of the operas it would go with.

  6. AJH

    A diva deceived By a suitor who’d suit her… Adriana Lecouvreur
    Turkish sultan commits suicide to save daughter from tyrant…Bajazet
    A fairy godmother and bracelet are nice…Cenerentola
    All of Rome wants to kill me; the two sopranos love each other, not me….Rienzi
    God goes at it w/nymph undercover as his goddess daughter….La Calisto
    How many times I have to tell you: he is not African American! Otello?

  7. joncaves

    “Three hot-blooded Italians went to Sant’Angelo … and then there were none” – Tosca?

    “Theseus and Ariadne decide to take the bull by the horns.” – The Minator?

    “Woman is raped, brutally beaten, then falls into an icy river. Russia lives happily ever after” – Lady Macbeth of Mtsensk?

    “Woman kills rapist with butter knife. Rapest has her boyfriend shot.” – Tosca again?

    “Ten years, he doesn’t call, he doesn’t write, then this guy who shows up and kills all my boyfriends is him? I don’t believe it” – The Return of Ulysses

    “A fairy godmother and bracelet are nice. Who needs a glass slipper and talkative mice?” – Cendrillon (Massenet)?

    “A silver rose, commedia dell’arte characters and an… altruistic soprano??? Are we sure this is an OPERA???” – Der Rosenkavalier?

  8. joncaves

    “Dude in LA was looking at the ceiling. Things got all shook up, and then he saw the sky.” – I Was Looking at the Ceiling and Then I Saw the Sky (Adams)

    “relative genius sings solfege on a train. Knees are played.” – Einstein on the Beach (good one :))

    “Wherein we learn Prince Hal/has this hedonistic pal/who chases & flirts/with a bevy of skirts/& it gets him dumped in the canal” – Falstaff

    “A spectral trinity of father, daughter and unholy ghost tell a stormy seaside tale of love, madness, and cliff diving” – Flying Dutchman

    “Assisted suicide/natural death resulted from sex addiction caused by accidental ingestion of aphrodisiac + civilian casualties” – Tristan und Isolde

    “I insist on marrying the bravest man on earth, and I don’t care if he IS my nephew!” Die Walkure?

    “I love you! I love you! (cue thunder) I love you! Where’s your power? I love you? CALL IN THE BARBER!!!!” – Barber of Seville?

    “Man starts co. named after a fruit, changes world, is ousted, returns, changes world, battles cancer, changes world 1 last time” – this sounds like the history of Steve Jobs – I don’t believe it is an existing opera

    “No, I can’t shag you. Now gimme that spear” – Parsifal?

    “Now let me see. The love of a chaste and pious virgin, or… the goddess Venus. Tough choice – not” – Tannhauser?

  9. Sam

    Advice for the lovelorn… is Rusalka (and mine)

    These are all other people’s but –

    A fairy godmother and bracelet… La Cenerentola
    A royal finds pleasure… Le Comte Ory
    A silver rose… Der Rosenkavalier
    Belinda’s cunning plot… Dido and Aeneas
    Choreographer gets all… Nixon in China
    Crusaders campaign… Le Comte Ory
    Deal w/devil… Faust
    Dear Diary: OK… La Boheme
    Don’t give up your… Carmen
    He loves me…Madama Butterfly
    Here comes the bride… Lohengrin
    I insist on marrying… Siegfried

  10. Danny

    The ||:vi-V-I:|| etc. is an accurate (if abridged) summary of Einstein on the Beach.

    (For that matter, “Various counting and solfege…” is also Einstein on the Beach.)

    “Composer negotiates church politics…” — Pfitzner’s Palestrina.

  11. indybrendan

    A few others that aren’t mine:

    A royal finds pleasure…Le Comte Ory
    Dive seeks artistic type…Tosca
    Belinda’s cunning plot…Dido & Aeneas
    Breaking News: Stalker…Carmen
    Crusaders campaign, so…Le Comte Ory
    don’t give up your life…Carmen
    Now let me see…Tannhauser
    Three hot-blooded Italians…Tosca
    Woman kills rapist…Tosca

  12. DrGeoduck

    Dear World: I really, really, really hate Benjamin Britten – Elegy for Young Lovers

    Dear World: I really, really, really hate Eduard Hanslick – Die Meistersinger von Nurnberg

    Dear World: I really, really, really like myself – Intermezzo

    F: This is – The Damnation of Faust

    Sadly, at no – Simon Boccanegra

    Spoiler: They go – Francesca da Rimini

    Tenor cancels performance – The Tenor (Hugo Weisgall)

  13. Mine:
    “This crazy opera’s one wild ride,” is Moses und Aron

    Not mine:

    “#operaplot Dude in LA” is I was looking at the ceiling & then I saw the sky (John Adams)
    A fairy godmother and bracelet are nice. is Cenerentola

    “Imagine” … seems to me is Magic Flute (?)

  14. joncaves

    “The fairy godmother … ” has to Cendrillon not Cenerentola – the former has a Fairy Godmother but the later has a philosopher, Alidoro. Apparently Rossini didn’t like the ‘magical’ elements of the story so he dropped them for a much more “enlightenment” view of the world.

  15. tastath

    Spoiler: they go to hell – Don Giovanni?
    Bored wife kills – Lady Macbeth of Mtsensk?
    He loves me – Madama Butterfly?
    God goes at it – Cavalli’s Calisto
    Happy Easter.Bite me – Cavalleria rusticana

  16. Meredith

    “Diva seeks artistic type” is Tosca
    It was already identified but I just thought I’d confirm it since my mom wrote that one.

  17. “Big plans with the hubby’s boss…”: Macbeth
    “He’s climbin’ in your windows…”: Don G?
    “Hello purty girl…” and “Cute girl degenerates…”: both Susannah?
    “I just got engaged…”: Arabella
    “Teenage pregnancy…”: Jenufa

  18. “Oh, apparently weird military experiments *will* fuck with a guy’s head.” Wozzeck
    “F: Hey, this is a weird horse ride.” Some version of the Faust story
    “Assisted suicide/natural death” The Makropulous Case?
    “I love you! I love you! (cue thunder) I love you! Where’s your power? I love you? CALL IN THE BARBER!!!!” Samson and Delilah

  19. When you’re broke, drunk and want magic … Streetcar named desire

    Teenage pregnancy, domestic violence, infanticide. All pretty run of the mill… Jenufa
    Happiness or bust. Bust. #operaplot Candide?
    Bored wife kills treacherous father-in-law, impotent husband and slut who stole her man. Then herself. You go girl. #operaplot Lady Macbeth of Mtsensk
    #operaplot student angsts over grown ups’ behaviour and girlfriend’s reticence. “The play’s the thing….” Hamlet (put me out of my misery – is there an opera of Hamlet?)

  20. JohnGilks

    @harryfiddler Yes there’s a Hamlet by Ambroise Thomas. The Met did it last year with Keenleyside and Dessay.

  21. The conductor & the critic of the last remaining symphony fight for their secret love affair as they face dying traditions #operaplot

    I didn’t understand these were supposed to be about existing operas. I offered mine up as a new plot idea. I still like it!:)

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