or Book-a-minute, as its proprietor Rinkworks has called it. Basically, it’s #operaplot for books. The synopses are crying out to be twitterized, although not loud enough for Miss Mussel to do it in any sort of immediate fashion.

At any rate, here are a few of her favourites:

A Tale of Two Cities – Dickens
Doctor released, Marquis deceased, Darnay acquitted, Monarchy submitted, Marriage announced, Darnay denounced, Places are switched, Blades are twitched, Seamstress cries, Carton dies.

The Rime of the Ancient Mariner – Samuel Coleridge Taylor
Mariner: I am creepy and old. Listen to me.
Wedding Guest: I’m late but ok
Mariner: I killed an albatross. Then everyone died.

The Moby Dick – Melville
Call me Ishmael.
Ahab: Crew, we will seek the white whale and kill it, because I am insane.
Crew: Alas, your destructive obsession will be our undoing. They almost find the white whale. Then they almost find the white whale. Then they find it.
Ahab: I stab at thee. I stab at thee.
Everybody dies except Ishmael, although this is no surprise, because it was foreshadowed continually from the beginning.

The Giving Tree – Silverstein
I can’t believe you cut that tree down, you jerk.

The Pokey Little Puppy – Janet Sebring Lowery
If you are disobedient and slow, probably you can get dessert while your siblings can’t.

The Secret Garden – Hodgson Burnett
Colin: I’m sick because I think I’m sick.
Mary: Then let’s reawaken our spirits by going to this garden and discovering the healing power of love inside us all.
Dickon: Sounds good to me.

Do you have any of your own you’d like to share?


  1. Yvonne

    This reminds me of a collection called How to Become Ridiculously Well-Read in One Evening. Most of its entries are longer (and often in verse), but here are two gems:

    Finnegan’s Wake
    Is one long spelling mistake
    With not a lot
    Of plot.

    Its central theme,
    Revealed through H.C. Earwicker’s dream,
    Is the cyclical pattern of fall and resurrection,
    But except for a few good puns it’s not worth close inspection.

    D.H. LAWRENCE Lady Chatterley’s Lover
    Smart girls make passes
    At the working classes.

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