All Entries Tagged With: "christmas"
Twelve Lords-a-Leaping
“I’d like to say that I believe in God but as a thinking person who cares about the world around him there are two very good reasons why I simply can’t. A) Wasps. Can’t see the point of a wasp, can you? Absolutely pointless. B) Caviar. I mean, really, what is the [...]
Ten Pipers Piping
“Crickets, as you know, are very tricky to train. Almost untrainable. Very individual creatures with precious little discipline, so in practice, all they did really was a lot of leg rubbing as and when they felt inclined. Tempermental little sods.”
Day 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.
Nine Drummers Drumming
“You see, MI6’s view is that if you know exactly what every single person in the world is going to do at any given time, we’ll be able to anticipate what they’ll do next but, as you can imagine, the paperwork is absolutely monstrous.”
Day 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8
Eight Maids-a-Milking
“We always use maids, Filipina maids, working in teams of eight. Seven on each team were employed by me secretly milking up to a hundred cows each night. The other one worked for my father doing any secret washing up, secret hoovering and so on, as he felt needed doing.”
Day 1, 2, 3, 4, [...]
Seven Swans-a-Swimming
“Fraud is really in the eye of the receiver isn’t it. What I was doing was not so much fraud as teaching people a lesson.”
Day 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6
Six Geese-a-Laying
“The Streeb-Greeblings for some genetic reasons have been blessed with fourteen toes, so obviously having one missing here or there doesn’t make a blime bit of difference. In fact it probably saved me a fortune in later years as I was going to have it done cosmetically on the National Health. So really a [...]
Five Gold Rings
“I was chatting to a couple of blondes and Hitler drifted over with the sausage rolls and asked me to run in the Olympics.”
Day 1, 2, 3, 4
Four Calling Birds
“Well, a lot of things in nature are unlikely. Who could imagine a animal called a prottle made entirely of curtain rings?”
Day 1, 2, 3
Three French Hens
“The nightlife in Brussels is very similar to the day life..but..uh… a bit darker and nothing’s open.”
Day 1, 2,
Christmas Tallysheet
Others have reported on the treasures they received on the Big Day, so, in aid of not being left in the dust by her fellow bloggers, Miss Mussel is happy to report that she has acquired the following:
both of which should come in handy for this whole writing for a living gig. Maybe not [...]
